ck's realm

Dentists

2011-05-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

I thought my business with them is finished after all my baby teeth were replaced by permanent teeth. And the only reason I had agreed for orthodontics when I was 16 was because there was no need for any tooth extraction to be done.

My mom told me that when I was about 4 or 5 years old, I had to get this tooth extracted and we were in Singapore. She told me there were 4 adults pressing me down on the chair/table in order for the dentist to extract my tooth.

I can still remember that actually because after I came back from Singapore, I had nightmares for weeks. I can still recall that I was pushed hard while I kept struggling to get away.
Which is why I hate dentists and Singapore ever since.

I avoid dentists at all cost until I was in university where I get my annual dental checks.
But when I was in year 5, I keep having this vague toothache. Not very bad but annoying. So I went to see the dentist and to cut the story short, OPG done and I have 2 impacted wisdom teeth, one on each side, but they need to extract all 4 wisdom teeth because you can't have a single wisdom tooth on one side because it will hit on the gum.
But that's not the worst. I need a minor oral surgery to remove the impacted ones.
MINOR is not really minor. It is COMPARATIVELY minor as compared to other oral and maxillofacial surgery. I am opting for LA instead of GA because I am afraid of branulas and intubation. So I have to go through the pain TWICE.
Not only that, I read up about the procedure.. So many complications!
There's no way I can run away from this. I have to do this. Otherwise when it gets infected/symptomatic it still has to be done...
Hopefully everything will turn out fine..

Sigh.. I think I'm gonna have trouble sleeping/nightmare tonight.

S95 it is.

2011-04-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

Given my tight budget and Canon Powershot S95's size, I have finally chosen Powershot S95 rather than Lumix LX5.
My initial plan was to get a simple Ixus but after struggling for more than a week, I have decided to give Canon a try.
Few of my friends are using LX5 and had rave reviews about it..
LX5 has better wide angle, longer lasting battery and easier handling.
It's only about rm200 more expensive but it's bulkier which won't make my life easy when travelling.
Hopefully this is the right call.
I hate making decisions and having to choose electronic gadgets.
Had the same struggle when I had to replace my handphones, mp3s and laptops in the past..
If only my things will not breakdown forever/get stolen, life would be so much simpler for me!
Since that's not possible/preventable, I can only make my life less complicated by being less fussy about these things..
Still, that's easier being said than done..

Counting down..

2011-04-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

One more week to go..
I don't even do count down for my major examinations.

Have so many things left to do..
I need to upload my photos from Taiwan and university.
Haven't start packing.
Still lacking a pair of shades..
And need to complete my job application before I leave.

Most important of all, I am still undecided which camera to get.
Lumix LX5, Canon Ixus, Canon S95 or G15? Tough decision to make.
Too broke to get a DSLR plus it's too bulky to carry around.
(Defense Mechanism: Rationalization)

Splurge!

2011-04-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

Went shopping for clothes and shoes just now in Gurney Plaza...

What I spent in 2 hours' time was more than my Chinese New year shopping..

I think I should refrain myself from shopping before the trip.

Will be going Europe for a month in less than 2 weeks' time!!

Had been very busy for the past few days planning the trip and booking all stuff

and it did not feel like real holiday until today.

I had less than 6 hours' of sleep a day, went to bed at 4am. no afternoon nap and did not get to play much of piano.

I think my entire trip will probably cost more than my 5 years of tuition fees (that's because the fees were waived). Will be going to Bangkok after my return for few days to shop!

So in conclusion, more than 50% of my not really long holiday before i start work will be spent away from home.. Mhm.

I am so in love with Penang.

As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grows fonder.

I never realized that Penang is such an awesome place until I went away and study in KL. The people here are so much nicer and pleasant and everyone speaks Hokkien.

I managed to go to two banks, temple and shop for shades in two hours' time.

And I managed to get an appointment for minor oral surgery(all four of my wisdom teeth have to be removed) next week (but had to be delayed because of the trip). My point is, it's easy to get things done in Penang!! And not to mention the glorious food (home cooked and hawker food).

Home, finally

2011-04-01T09:08:00.000-07:00

Managed to get most of my things done in the morning by 9am.
But had to wait for more than an hour for the radiology department to print my OPG.
So I left after waiting for an hour, trying not to get pissed because I reminded myself I had all the time in the world (except that I was trying to get to the bus station by noon time).

Anyways, I realized I am not as irritated as I was 2 months ago while waiting for the staff to get things done.
Not that they are becoming more efficient.. I think it's because I don't have to rush to ward rounds or study (but I am more deprived of sleep this time).

I think I need to remind myself of not losing my patience and temper once I start working..
Anyways, I had a pleasant surprise of meeting my surgical senior registrar when I return to the radiology department later!
Had a short chat with her which made me more certain of the decisions I am about to make.

The journey back home was longer than usual. It took me 6.5 hours to reach Penang but I did get some rest.
The long journeys that I took throughout the years had always been the times when I reflected upon my life.

5 years ago, I packed my stuff and left the comforts of home in pursuit of a medical degree in KL.
It was not easy to adapt to the life away from home.
In retrospect, I think I had adjustment disorder (I only realized this AFTER psychiatry posting) and that's the time when I started to shop a lot (they say it's called retail therapy).

I left the campus this morning. I did not have time to sink it all in until I was in the bus because I was busy clearing my check list of things to do. And for the past few days I had been busy packing and meeting up with friends and juniors to celebrate and say my goodbyes.
So this is it. Nearly all of my close friends have graduated except me. I have to be a real adult now.(which is scary). And there will be no more monthly allowances from my parents. I will be responsible for my actions and my patients. ..

Thinking on the bright side, at least I have two months of holidays for me to prepare myself for adulthood.:)

So many things to do

2011-03-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

Yet so little time...
Have to go to the office to certify my documents, run to the clinic to get a copy of my OPG..
Last but not least.. I'll be checking out from the hostel tomorrow..
and catch a bus back to penang before noon..
This is the time when I bid an official goodbye to my life as a student..

It's going to be a looooong day..

This is not the end

2011-03-30T09:38:00.001-07:00

It is perhaps only the end of the beginning.
I passed!!:)
It's been a long day.
Good night world.

Palpitations

2011-03-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

Counting down..

Two more hours till they announce our results..

Trying to find things to do to calm my nerves.

Had no problem sleeping last night coz was out whole day...

Folded all my clothes but the books are all stacked up and not packed into boxes because I don't know what to expect later..

It's ALL OR NOTHING.

You either pass or ****, there's no in between..

How to kill two more hours?

I can't watch movies coz I can't focus on what's going on..

Mom's on her way to help me pack.

She said no matter what the outcome is, I still need to pack..
Fingers crossed.. I want to pass!!

What I need now

2011-03-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

is sleep.Only managed to get 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 night.
Been out whole day yesterday and today. We went to Taman Pertanian Malaysia in Shah Alam, which was 2 hours away from Cheras. The traffic was very bad in Subang. Anyways, by the time we reached, it was already 1045am. We left later than initially planned because it was drizzling in Cheras.
Cycled for an hour in the park. Wasn't a pleasant cycling experience as compared to Taiwan because we had to cycle up the steep slope and there wasn't much to see.
Also, the bicycles we rented were not in good condition.
Despite the lack of sleep and my brain screaming need for rest, I'm grateful to be able to spend time with friends instead of still studying for the exams. I think having to take the exam earlier was a blessing in disguise. Plus, 22nd is my lucky number:)

OCD

2011-03-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

DSM IV criteria to diagnose OCD includes having either
Obsession: A recurrent and intrusive thought, feeling or idea. OR
Compulsion: A conscious repetitive behaviour linked to an obsession that, when performed, functions to relieves anxiety caused by the obsession.

While cleaning my room after 24 hours of being awake and only had 4 hours of sleep the night before seemed like some kind of obsession and compulsive behaviour, you can only diagnose one with OCD if ONLY it cause significant impairment in their daily functioning.
Since there WONT be any significant impairment to my life unless shopping counts, so I am NOT considered OCD, YET.

I think there maybe some kind of jinx on me for this exam. I got ALL cases that I did not revise few days before.. -_______-''''Hopefully I did enough to pass the exam.

Results will only be out on Wednesday. It's gonna be a LONG LONG wait :(

The real battle

2011-03-18T01:14:00.000-07:00

is on Tuesday. The clinical examination (OSCE).
Am not saying that theory paper and OSPEs are not real exam, and there is a chance that I might **** for not being able to get 50%, but at least it's a controlled situation, just me and the question, with slightly more time to think about the whole clinical scenario.
In contrary, OSCEs is more terrifying because there's the patient factor, the examiner factor or most important of all, the only variable that we can control is our own factor (not to get panicky).

approximately 6 years ago, I was panicking for STPM, afraid about not being able to finish the syllabus instead of worrying about passing/failing/excelling.
My only responsibility was to finish the syllabus that I THINK is important. ( I used notes OR maximum one text book for each subjects, and REFUSED to do any exercise/past year questions.)

I just realized how much things have changed.
In high school, if you study, you CAN answer the questions. The teachers (thankfully my school had really good teachers) will guide you and teach you every single thing you need to know (whether they were able to make you understand is a different matter, at least they tried). If you get the concept right, you have no problem answering the questions without doing any exercises.

Now, there's no proper notes, WE teach each other (so called peer learning), unsure what's important and what's not, or even able to get the facts right. There's so many things to study, with new advances in medicine everyday, with high expectations from some of our lecturers DESPITE us having limited guidance. (probably due to the fact that there's 240 of us and there's severe lacking in teaching staff)
and It's ALWAYS about passing/failing. and the answers are NOT in the books, and sometimes there's MORE than one correct answer (that's why we never call them MCQs-multiple choice questions, it's called OBA in my university-one BEST answer..).

Now, my only hope is not to be the 10% of students that my faculty fail every year in the professional exam.
Wish me luck.

Touched

2011-03-17T01:29:00.000-07:00

Been following the news closely these few days.
This is better than any book I have read
Amazed by how selfless the people are.
I have always believe that there is kindness in every human being, it's only a matter of discovering them in people that you meet.
But to demonstrate such courage and altruism of adversity even when they themselves are victim is extraordinary.
An act of kindness at times like may be more infectious than any diseases know to human being:)
And perhaps provide better comfort than any medicine in this world can do to the heart.

Surreal

2011-03-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

The photos looked as if they were taken from some movie scenes with special effects.

Too bad they were real.
With the nuclear melt-down adding on to the tsunami hit, I can't imagine how tough times are there.

All this made the on-going exam seemed like a small matter.

My prayers to my friends and their families in Japan, as well as the nation.

So many natural disasters occurred in a short span of time. Has it always been like this only because I was young and ignorant? Or we are witnessing the accelerated degeneration of the earth??

URTI, again.

2011-02-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

I see a pattern emerging. Am reluctant to admit it 5 years ago, but I can no longer deny it anymore..
Every time a MAJOR exam is lurking around the corner e.g. SPM, STPM, Professional Exam,
and when I can no longer procrastinate, and just when I am about to start revising....
I will fall sick!!!!
Usually the illness last a week..Too bad my study week now is only 3 weeks, and SPM and STPM is about scoring/not scoring, not passing/failing...
Nonetheless, before SPM and STPM, it was self-induced because I was busy watching drama series and did not get enough sleep (even skipped school to finish the series.) I am innocent this time!!
The only thing I did was reading blogs and surfing internet, with adequate rest of 12 hours a day..
But then again, I may be taking imbalance diet+exposed to more virulent organisms..

Hope that this episode will go away soon, unlike the last URTI (about 2 months ago) which lasted 3 freaking long weeks..
But at the rate I contract URTI and my rate of recovery, I am not sure if I'm immunocompromised/the viruses here is too strong..

Totally unrelated to the above.. Examined a patient with terminal cancer few days ago, a day before he started treatment. He was a middle aged gentleman with his eldest son being 8 years old only. I was almost done examining him when he asked me to leave a pen behind with him, said he needed it to write his will just in case anything happen to him. Didn't know what he had initially but by the time I finished examining him, my clinical impression was it was a malignancy with a poor prognosis. He was recently told to have this terminal illness few days ago so he was not prepared for it. I didn't know what to say. I left the only pen I had with him and wished him all the best.

It struck me hard as a friend's father passed away few months ago because of the same illness. Used to be a close friend of mine since I was young. We used to tell each other everything and I think he was like an older brother to me then (My own elder brother was too childish so we fought all the time) Anyway, we kind of drifted apart as we grow up.. He told me about his father illness when we met last year, which was few months before his father passed way. When he was first diagnosed, the doctor told him he had few months to live but he made it through 5 years before finally succumbed to the disease.

I don't know what will happen to him but I pray that the patient will get better with treatment for his and his 5 year old son's sake. From his record, there are still treatment options available that will improve his survival chance.

Oncology is one difficult area of medicine.

Case Write Up

2011-02-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

Have been spending so much time on it. Most of the time I was browsing through blogs, rather than reading articles relevant to the case report..

This will be the last assignment in my medical school before the professional exam.

Somehow find it hard to difficult to concentrate on completing it.

Deadline has been extended from last Friday to tomorrow, which means I have/had ample time to do it..

Sigh.. Guess I better get back to work than keep on blogging..

otherwise I will be deprived of my much needed sleep..

CNY 2011

2011-02-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

The shortest CNY holiday EVER as I have to head back to kl on Saturday. Only 3 days....
Still, was a good one since I get to meet up with friends and family that I missed dearly.:):)
I guess this is how CNY will be (or shorter) for me once I start working..

Speaking of that, I met a few patients in Teluk Intan who spoke to me in Hokkien and it suddenly hit me that I can't speak/understand Hokkien as much as I thought-_____-'''
How am I going to be able to clerk patients in Hokkien if I get to work in Penang?

After 7 years

2010-12-29T04:39:00.000-08:00

of absence, that was not how I expected to say hi.
But I guess life has its way of throwing surprises at you.
We'll see how it goes from here.:)

Happy New Year world.

Sunday Morning

2010-10-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

Technically, it's already afternoon.
But I woke up to a great weather coz it rained last night.:)

My thoughts are filled with plans for my upcoming holidays if I pass my exam, and none for the two case that i'm suppose to write, or the forensic report that i procrastinated for 6 months.
Old habits are difficult to kill

Slim River, again

2010-10-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

This time around, the place was not as insufferable. Truth to be told, it is actually a good retreat for me. I finally get to catch some sleep.

Having a specialist there, especially a kind one and more than 10 patients a day at Slim River made so much difference!!
The days seemed to pass faster, the same old house seemed more tolerable and there seemed to be less cockroaches around the house or maybe it's from the contribution from previous group staying in that house.(cleaning the dust and the cockroaches). Therefore, I snack less often because my mood is better.

The pace there is slower as compared to HUKM. We go to ward rounds and then clinic. By noon, we can return to hostel.
Despite the slow pace of the place, the place was not short of obstetrics emergencies. There was TWO RED ALERTS activated in two subsequent days. Or maybe because it's such a small place, we were aware of everything that was going on in that place. Sadly, we were not there during the emergency because it was after office hours. We were actually in the hospital during the second red alert, which occured like 10 minutes after I left to clerk a patient.

One was cord prolapse and another shoulder dystocia. The first baby did not do so well post-partum but fortunately for the second baby, she's currently well with no complications although doctor suspected brachial plexus injury initially. (Baby was not moving her/his left/right arm).

Though the weather was much warmer and the wards were not air-conditioned and I had to attend ward rounds every morning ( actually, I go to the wards earlier all thanks to my two roomies who have no problem waking up early in the morning) and the clinics are not as exciting, it's much better than what I expected.

So for those who said HSR is a nice place, I do agree with you all to a certain extent. But that only applies to ObGyn posting.

Although ZT said she did less things there as compared to HUKM, it's very different for me.
I actually palpated more abdomen in a day than what I did in HUKM, and I can focus more on completing my case write up, albeit not much.

Nonetheless, my plan to complete cwu before leaving HUKM was not accomplished with not much surprise. Therefore, I didn't do much studying this week, meaning I have to cram everything on ObGyn in the next week. Wish me lots of luck.

As tiring as it had been

2010-10-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

It had been an exciting week.

Assisted in two C-sections on Thursday.

Not my first time but the doctor was so kind to perform it at a slower rate so I can see everything clearly.

The first C-section:

We knew it was a macrosomic baby (mother had Type II DM and there was also presence of polyhydramnios) with estimated fetal weight of 4.3 kg on ultrasound scan but when we pulled the baby out, it was a boy weighing 4.96kg!

-_____-''' I remembered that I was so amazed by a mother who managed to deliver a 4kg baby vaginally 2 years ago.

The second C-section was a breech with polyhydramnios and again I had to stabilize the fetus. My hands ached so much after that.

And I probably did more VE in the last one week more than I had in the 8 weeks rotation in 3rd year.

I think I don't dislike ObGyn that much anymore.:)

:)

2010-10-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

After a long day at the hospital, receiving a call from a dear friend who is equally busy was a pleasant surprise.

I guess I am not aware of how engrossed I was with ward works.

Thanks for calling and brighten my day!

XOXO

ObGyn

2010-09-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

The posting will start tomorrow.

Despite me being more ignorant than others, I received *some* information about the posting.

Being scolded is the norm. We will normally get used to it within a week.

Beware of being compared to the third years. If they know the answers, so should you, or you should have a better answer.

Sleep is a luxury, not necessity.

You will be doing most of the house officers' work (same hours) but you will not be paid. And oh, we have to study on top of that.

Very discouraging talk by friends but will try to look forward to it. At least I hope I can pass the posting so I don't have to go through it again.

I can't explain why I dislike the posting so much. For me it's mainly the Obs part.

It had been an eye-opener for me when I went through the posting in third year (well, most posting are except anaesthesiology and community medicine). I never appreciate my mother for giving birth to 4 kids (9 months is a very long time, what more 36) and then RAISING them up (-_____-'''). Anything can go wrong during pregnancy and you have to start all over again. I've seen so much despair in those who had miscarriage or had to terminate the pregnancy after finally being able to conceive. So every time I see a bulge in a woman in reproductive age group, I actually try todifferentiate a gravid uterus/pure fat. If I suspect the former, I steer at least 5 feet distance from them, so that I don't bump into them accidentally.

The movies often depict the nicest/worst moments of our lives, but they exaggerate them (some just a little, and some too much until it seemed fake to those who seen those moments many times in real life) or cut some not so nice/deemed not so important/not so interesting aspects.

The part where mothers glow with happiness do happen I think (not so much during labour, but yes post-partum AFTER they get some rest and meal-labour=hours of screaming/moaning/in pain and fasting for some), but maybe more often and for a longer duration in fiction.

To film a pregnancy is too long so they only forced us to watch the labour process (also cut short, they did not film the first stage, only second stage) when I was in secondary school.
I didn't watch the film (maybe I already know I had to see the real thing then). I turned my back from the screen and stuffed my ears with tissues. Labour=horror movie to me. Maybe that's why I dislike the posting so much.

But then again, not all labours are so painful and the posting is as interesting as others if only we cut out the labour part. To do what we can to ensure pregnancies progress smoothly and to deliver a baby into the world is kind of exciting (again excluding all the blood, cleaning instruments). Who knows the baby may turn out to be some one who have significant contribution to the world one day!

Big C hits close to home

2010-09-18T23:22:00.002-07:00

I've never break any bad news to patients. There were times when I came across patients with terminal cancer but that was before they knew about their illness.

I have always thought this is a difficult task to do.

But what if someone close to you or you are at the receiving end? It was so surreal to hear that someone close is having cancer.Makes me realize no matter how many births, deaths or illnesses that doctors see everyday at the hospital, we are all just human.

I just hope that when the time comes for me to face illness and death, I have the strength to face it.

Finally!

2010-09-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'd like to think I deserve this one week holiday.

And that I've worked hard for it..(only completed assignments)

The one week is coming to an end and I hope I've had enough fun and rest to keep me going till March.

Enjoyed spending time with friends and catching up with some long lost friends, eating good food for free and not having to wake up at 630 in the morning.

Get to play hours of real piano at home, with pedals that work, unlike in the hospital where it's just electronic piano.

Few things missing as compared to previous holidays: No fiction, no movies and no shopping (yes, unbelievable).

Still, get to go to yoga and pilates class. Whole body still aching from the workout. Listening to the instructor talking about stretching lattissimus dorsi, quadricep etc. It's like revisiting anatomy, just that my mind was more focused on the muscle aches.

Overall, was a great holiday despite not being able to do any travelling, apart from the 5-hour journey from KL to Penang.

Intention Tremor

2010-09-03T03:45:00.000-07:00

I can't even write my name properly.

Note: WRITE, not type.

With the advent of technology and also since I entered clinical school, all I ever write was some notes taken during lecture (not much), history from patient and that would be all.

We have to do at least one case write up for every posting but we were ALWAYS allowed to type them, except in Paeds, Psy and Anaest.

My Psy supervisor was kind enough (or he just couldn't care less) to let us type our CWU.

Not so lucky with Paeds and Anaest though.

My writing used to be nice (heck lots of people complimented me on it) but now I am happy enough if my writings are legible.

I refuse to become one of the doctors with illegible writing that all students, nurses secretly cursed or whom specialists and consultants scolded. I mean we can't really blame them coz when you have to see so many patients a day, ensuring your writing is nice isnt one of your priority.

Back to the point:

I had to HANDWRITE my Paeds CWU in two days last year. That was because I decided the first copy wasn't good enough and I had a deadline to catch. I think my hands were shaking by the time I finished it.

I guess I didn't learnt my lesson well.

This time around, we had to do one CWU and another handwritten assignment.

For the past 20 hours, I have written 20 pages long of CWU, with 2 hours of lecture, 2 hours of sleep and 1 hour of teaching in between.

Apart from that, my hands were busy copying my CWU from laptop to paper.

I am having very bad intention tremor now. I am thinking how on earth people write so many write ups in the past, especially if it's a complicated case.

And I think I know why most doctors (note: not ALL) have illegible writing. That was because they had to write so much in a short duration.

I am just glad that I don't have to write my CWU in the near future.

Or I should try to be like everyone else, i.e to do CWU early, and pick a simpler case / be less OCD.

One down, Four more to go

2010-07-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

Surgery posting is officially over for me.

And to my dismay, I only covered like 50% or less of the syllabus.

So much for my initial determination to finish reading up on 5 disease a day..

Yet, I think I've learnt a lot from this 7 week, all thanks to doctors, colleagues and patients.

Met up with my supervisor and examiner just now. I finally knew that I passed my long case.

Though I didn't do well, I was upset because my supervisor asked me why I fumbled during exam.

He said that I couldn't done better. I didn't expect that coming from him.

I was partly happy because i passed but partly sad to let my supervisor down..

Guess I have to be more calm the next time I see a strict examiner.

Going to Slim River hospital next week as I'll be starting Paeds next.

I have even less basic knowledge on Paeds.. Hopefully I can survive the posting okay.

I want a REAL holiday. Le sigh.

Surgical Posting at Teluk Intan

2010-07-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

Have to finish my case write up by tonight and to study for end of posting assessment. Only managed to cover like 15% of the total syllabus-__-'''

And yet, I felt like penning down my reflections before all these thoughts are being displaced by knowledge that I hope to squeeze in my limited brain space in the next two days.

Was in Teluk Intan for the past 2 weeks for surgery rotation.

I felt like final year REALLY began there.

Rotation in UKMMC felt the same, perhaps because we were already posted there in 3rd year. What was different was that I had to cover beds, and somehow need to know about most things (I don't) and how to examine patients.

I felt accomplished as 3rd year surgery was like window shopping for me. I was there, I passed through but did not even make the effort to go to wards.

Apart from sharing house with 6 other people, having 3 roommates around, both which were new experiences for me, being in the Surgical wards was totally an eye opener.

Lesson 1:

Two of our seniors were there. They were one year more senior than me.

First thing that one of them told me was: Repeat the 6 months. Don't graduate too early.

Kinda reminded me what our senior registrars in UKMMC told us on the first day of our rotation : DO something else, don't do medicine.

I didn't give those words much thought until I see the way the houseman are treated.

The HO at TI has a relatively less workload, but they get scolded.

It is humiliating to be scolded in front of nurses, patients, medical students and your colleagues.

I guess the intention was to make the HO realize that they are making mistakes (long list)

and especially for HO who are new, it can be very depressing. (We study 5 years, maybe more, some study REAL hard, sacrifice their social life and trying to cope with the new long working hours)

And that's not even the worst, the MOs treat the HO the same way the specialist did. Some joined in and mocked at HO at the same time instead of teaching them (maybe they teach them AFTER that). My guess is that made the HO felt worse.

I am certain some of them have been through that. Isn't that suppose to make them empathize with what the HOs are going through? Or because everyone is so stressed out they just leashed out their frustrations and anger at their juniors??

I hope not all hospitals train HOs that way. This sort of training need time for the HO to adjust and become immune to the cold treatment from their seniors. Eventually, all HOs will learn but the process itself makes a huge difference.

Lesson 2:

Cases come in 2, or maybe 3.

Seen 3 gastric carcinomas in 2 weeks, 2 upper gastrointestinal bleeds in the same week, 3 patients admitted to ward because of haematuria and another 3 confirmed acute cholecystitis.

Is it a coincidence or a pattern to that?

Again, our registrars told us that before we went to Teluk Intan. When they get an acute appendicitis during on call, chances are there will be another case coming in later.

Conclusion: Most of the time the seniors are right.:)

Lesson 3: Birth, Aging, Illness and Death

In medicine, I always knew we had to deal with illnesses. But death is not something that I encountered frequently before this.

Witnessed two deaths of patients in the ward in 2 consecutive days. I was there when they were admitted, and CPR instituted and when their bodies were sent out in coffins.

I saw their family members crying their hearts out and I felt detached. It's like real life drama unfolding in front of me and I was not affected. 2 years ago, I cried when a patient I knew died of cancer. Now I felt nothing. Maybe it is because I did not know these patients personally. I even shed tears when reading novels but not in real life. I am not sure if this is a good sign or a bad one, that I am getting more professional or cold-hearted?

Lesson 4: The big C

Patients in this hospital come with late presentation as compared to patients in UKMMC. Some of them have advanced diseases where only palliative care can be instituted, which is saddening, because with early detection and treatment, they can have very good prognosis.

It's been an overwhelming 2 weeks. Guess I need to prepare myself for the real world. Or should I enjoy myself when I still can?

36 hours in Penang

2010-07-16T03:42:00.000-07:00

It took me 6 hours to get back from Teluk Intan to Penang
and probably another 4 hours to return to TI where I will be staying for another week with 6 other house mates.

The journey was totally worth it.
It's great to be surrounded by old friends whom I've not seen for so long.:)
I just wish I can get to spend more time with them though what we do is mostly eat, talk and shop.

Glad to have you girls back!!
Hope all of us can achieve our dreams, have an awesome career and time to gather in 5 years' time:)

5 years ago

2010-07-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

A final year senior told me" Enjoy final year before you become a houseman"

"Final year is not that busy, when you compare final year with HO's life."

Kind of true. But only the comparison part. Final year IS BUSY.

Karma?

2010-06-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

The consequences that I have to face for slacking off for the past 4 years in med school.

And to get away with supervisors and doctors who were not strict.

And perhaps I played too hard during holidays?

The past 3 weeks had been long and exhausting.

I need a good Japanese meal, shopping spree, karaoke session, movies and to be able to watch Germany vs England match!!

I can't do any of those because

1) I don't have enough time

2) I need sleep more than watching World Cup

3) I don't have enough time.

Whoever said surgery is a free and easy posting made a lousy joke.

Still, learnt a lot this few weeks. Or I think I am compensating what I didn't learn in year 3.

In the last 5 days

2010-06-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

I have learnt more than what I did in my 8 weeks of surgical posting in 3rd year. Seriously.. I tried to cramp as much as I can in my air filled cerebrum so that I form sufficient synapses to deal with the coming 6 weeks. However, there's only so much I can absorb. 5 seminars/lectures a day, each lasting at least 2 hours is mentally taxing. I welcome the input though and am thankful for the efforts my course mates had put into their presentations. I can see the tremendous change that 4 years of medical school had done to some of us =D

I am trying to be more hardworking this year. Looking back, I am not just good at procrastination, but also killing time with nonsensical stuff. Or it's just because I had been such a lazy bum.

And then I suddenly thought about Nian Ning..We hadn't been close then, it was years after Talents Camp, where laughter were endless and we were so carefree. I remembered her enthusiasm and her drive for medicine. The incident had shook me so hard that I had made a promise to myself then, to strive harder with whatever I chose to do with my life.

Package

2010-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

from home. It always amazes me how my mom always send the right thing without being asked and send the WRONG thing that I asked for or FORGOT about the things I asked.

Le sigh.
Still, the food came at the right time. :)

Cameron Highland trip was beyond expectation. Made some wrong decisions but overall, I enjoyed it.

Here's a photo from the trip:

More to come, IF i have the time.

Weekend Getaway

2010-05-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

From the hustle and bustle of city. Escaping from the SSM workload.

This will be my last trip before I really step into my final year as a medical student.

They said it will be a really busy year ahead of us.
One senior once told me long time ago that I should enjoy my final year as a student as life as a HO is not easy.

Still, I hope I can commit myself to my academics and graduate as a safe doctor.

Hopefully I have enough determination and perseverance till next April.

Then I will deserve a break to Kota Kinabalu and US/Europe/Australia.

The past few weeks had been packed with SSM work and the preparation for the EAMSC appreciation dinner.

So I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.

From this (KL does not look as nice as this photo from my window)

To THIS

Can't wait to breath in the fresh air and taste the sour strawberries.^-^

No more DSLR photos this time though. I shall capture every scene with my eyes :)

Research

2010-05-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

writing our manuscript now. It's exhausting to work on it and at the same time planning for a dinner and making arrangements for our trip.

Too tired to write.

Here's some photos from our Taiwan trip.

Some taken by me and mostly by my brother using his DSLR when he's not riding the bike.

The actual scenery is at least twice as nice as this photo.

And the weather was awesome compared to the heat in Penang and KL.

View from Xuan Guang Temple. We had to take a boat ride to this temple.

One of my favourite photos.

The brother who paid for my trip. I return his favour by taking nice photos of him. This should totally be your profile photo.

Along the Shui Wa Trail.

Our last stop before the rain started falling. We wanted to wait for sunset but the it was too hazy.

It would have been nice if I had a cup of hot coffee then.

The sky wasn't that dark but I love the wild flowers beneath the sky

One of the last shots taken at Sun Moon Lake from the bus before the battery died out.

We had to take a bus back to our homestay coz we were rushing for the last bus to Taichung.

More photos on KaoHsiung later. Our Taroko Gorge photos can't be retrieved from the memory card!!

Argh!! I took most of the photos while on the motorcycle! Risked my life for those photos and ended up not being able to keep them:(

忽然好想你

2010-05-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚

绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音

不愿那是悲伤的哭泣

事到如今

终於让自已属於我自已

只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你

你会在哪里

过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你

突然锋利的回忆

突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲

变成两部悲伤的电影

为什麽你

带我走过最难忘的旅行

然後留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜那麽美

那麽相信

那麽疯那麽热烈的曾经

为何我们

还是要奔向各自的幸福

和遗憾中老去

突然好想你

你会在哪里

过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你

突然锋利的回忆

突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚

绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息

最怕此生已经决定自己过

没有你却又突然

听到你的消息

忽然好想你。

Piano

2010-05-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

很久没用中文打字了。。

今天下午弹了一下下的钢琴。。肩膀上的压力慢慢消失不见了。
能放空脑袋，让十指自由自在地在黑白键上奔驰的感觉真的很好。
很想把钢琴抬回宿舍，闷的时候可以玩玩；也可以解压。
如果可以的话那多好！

Home

2010-05-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

for 3 days.:)

Woke up at 1pm and lunch was served.

I miss home cooked food so much for the past few weeks!!

I don't need to crack my head to think about what to eat.

My mom seemed to know what I like best.

Chose to stay at home and play a bit of piano instead of going out to Queensbay.

Thought I had done quite a bit of shopping during the holidays (Chiang Mai, Bangkok and Taiwan) and also yesterday (finally got myself a new purse that I seriously need one. And another dress that I don't exactly need <3)

I hope this purse can stay with me longer. At least until I am sick of it or it becomes too dirty that my friends cannot stand it any longer. PLEASE don't go missing again!! I lost 3 wallets in the last 4 years. ALL THREE WERE STOLEN. What luck.

Two were gifts from my friend and mom. The one that I bought myself was from Harajuku in JAPAN :(

And somehow, I tend to lose my purses when it is LOADED with CASH. I think the amount of cashI lost totals up to the price of my 2-week old Asus laptop which was stolen together with my second purse. At that time, I was more heart broken over the fact of losing my favourite backpack. I can't find any backpack that I like after that. And I actually took GREAT care of it!! Still looked brand new. I only borrowed it to my brother for his Bangkok trip. I wonder why the theft stole it out of the many bags placed at the same place because some of my friends claimed that it looked like a bag from Chow Kit.

I don't like to buy new purse/backpack/watch/handbag unless I really have to. I think it's because I hate making decisions. It's not the same as clothes, dresses, shoes and accessories where you can buy as many as you want since you can wear/change those everyday.

Mom called from QB and asked:

"Do you want Pringles? or chocolates???"
:)Parents know me best!!

Somehow they only approve of Potato Chips in boxes and chocolates. We were not allowed to eat junk food since we were young till I was in Standard 3. After that, I became smarter and had my own pocket money. So we bought junk without telling our parents hehe.

Going to KL tomorrow. I hope my desk is sitting in my room by the time I get back though that's very unlikely. Don't they know that ~~I need to online~~ medical students need to study 24/7 and a desk is like a bed to them? Perhaps more important than a bed.

If I keep doing what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks (lying prone on my bed with the laptop placed at the same level as the bed), I will need a referral to an orthopedic surgeon. Dear manufacturer, please send the study tables as you've promised the people at the office. Dear officers, please don't laze around and send the tables straight to my room once it's available. Thank you very much.

CTC 2002 Reunion

2010-04-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

Instead of celebrating my brother's birthday, I went out for karaoke with HY coz he already made plans.

Jo texted me during karaoke. She casually mentioned that: We are meeting Sally, Shin Yee, Yee Thian and Huei Hoon later at Coffee Island.

I was so ecstatic!!!! It has been EIGHT FREAKING LONG YEARS since Combined Training Camp 2002 by 8th Georgetown South Troup!!

It was a pleasant surprise to be able to meet them and I really look forward to it. After I graduated from Form 5, we kinda drifted apart.. So there's this part of me which kind of afraid about feeling awkward during dinner. After all, I haven't seen them for 8 years. Of course, there's Jo so nothing to worry about.

While I was reading a Little Black Dress book at MPH at 6pm, Jo called. She said she couldn't make it! She wanted to cancel but I don't mind meeting up with the rest..

Luckily I made that suggestion! Or else, I would've missed out so much!

The 8pm dinner turned out to be 9pm coz Sally had a meeting. I was busy texting at the Gurney entrance while waiting for them to pick me up when the girls SCREAMED my name from the car.

I jumped into the car and that's when the clock was turned back to 2002. We need no warm up and we were talking so fast. Trying to catch up on each others' life. It was like 5 minutes drive from Gurney to Coffee Island but we didn't stop talking for that entire journey.

By the time we parked and get out of the car, we were laughing so hard and joking. It was as if the 8 years' time didn't exists. The age gap (I just noticed that I am only 1 year older than them but I have always felt that I am WAY older, they disagreed with that.) did not matter anymore. I was in Form 4 and they were in Form 2, now Sally and Shin Yee are working!

Sally said something that really made my heart soars: It was the best camp ever. No camp after CTC can ever compare to it. We felt that we were looked after during CTC. We were bullied in the subsequent camps that we attended.:)

We chatted non-stop, talking about everything. Studies, career, life, love, friends and future. I was filled with excitement to be able to share so much with these juniors (I should call them sisters). We worked together for 2 months towards a goal that does not matter at all to us now ( CTC 2002) but the process has built such strong bond among us. We sweat, eat, sleep and laugh together in that two months. There were ups and downs but those are the moments that make us know each other better. The laughter and tears that we shared did not seem significant to me in the last 8 years and I seldom recall those moments. But sitting together with them after 8 years, looking back at the old times, I realized that it was one of the best periods of my high school life.:)

and it's great that we remind each other of the silly moments and crazy stuffs we did when we were severely deprived of sleep, fought over food, walked the distance to get food, danced like fools except YT, learnt 24 season drum just to impress the judges but ended up not getting through the auditions, painted so many banners ..

The 2 months cannot be squeezed and summarized in one single post. There were many forgotten moments too.. I am thankful that I was given the chance to work with these adorable juniors (in the history of PCGHS Ranger Unit/Girl Guide Company, Guides are always sent out in teams from the same Form).

Maybe I'll dream about those days tonight:)

Jo came later at 1230am. She is LEAVING FOR MALDIVES AGAIN!! this time on contract for 2 years!!! It's real great news for her but it means that I won't be seeing her for 2 years:( I'll miss you. Try to miss me at times okay?

Last Post

2010-04-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

was filled with short sentences.

My thoughts are often scattered and unfocused, just like the way I talk.

I am certain that I have flight of ideas and pressure of speech.

Looking back at the old entries, it reminded me of Psychiatry questions during the examinations where we were asked to name the psychopathology from a patient's words.

It's either medical student syndrome or I really do have Bipolar II disorder since I can still function adequately.

Bed time. Full day ahead.

Goodbye

2010-04-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

by Secondhand Serenade. This song has been playing in my mind this whole evening.
I have no idea why.My favourite song used to be Your Call. It wasn't the most popular song of Secondhand Serenade at that time.
My current cellphone ringtone is Fall for You. Every time I play the song, it reminded me of the times before the conference where every call means more problems to solve.
I think I need a new ringtone, one song that I don't really like.
I can't imagine life without music. but then again, I can imagine myself sitting whole day in Qi Xing Tan in Hualien just listening to the sound of waves hitting against the gravels. I miss that place very much.

Taken on April 11th, 2010. If only photographs can capture the symphony.

Taiwan trip Part I

2010-04-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

I was there for 12 days, from April 4th till April 15th.
Despite the amount of time I spent surfing the net for information, the places that I visited were beyond my imagination. I was blown away again and again. Just when I thought the views couldn't get any better, I was pleasantly surprised by just how beautiful Taiwan is.

My last trip to Taiwan was 4 years ago, for my first ever medical students' conference.
I didn't have much time to explore even Taipei itself and I never thought I would go to Taiwan again.

We arrived at Sun Moon Lake on the first night. It was an exhausting day since we traveled for most of the time. We rushed to KL central, barely on time for the bus and took a 4+ hour flight to Taoyuan. Upon reaching Taoyuan, it was another 2.5 hours of bus ride to Taichung and at Taichung, again we boarded a bus to SML. We reached Taichung 5 minutes before the bus left...

SML was in a state of darkness and I thought perhaps I made the wrong decision by insisting on visiting it. Afterall, it was a long journey and my brother was not really enthusiastic about the place. We had to cut Alishan out of the picture because of SML.

We went to the nearest 7 eleven for supper (we made this a habit of ours during our 12 day visit). I wish Malaysia's 7-11 is as well-stocked and cheap as those in Taiwan.

We stayed in a homestay at the Moon Lake (Sun Moon Lake had two more well known parts, one shaped like the crescent moon and the other like the sun). It was far from the tourist centre where we arrived at.

The homestay where we stayed at.

We had to take a boat to Xuan Guang Temple.

Xin Guang Temple.

On the way up the temple

The water was crystal clear!!

The temple was in the centre of the lake.

We were too tired to wake up early the next day for sunrise. Anyway, it was very hazy and we were told that we had to climb this trail to get the best sunrise view from the hill/mountain. (Maolan trail) Instead, we took a boat to Xuan Guang Temple for an hour. We rented the bicycle with batteries so we don't have to use our ATPs.

Wildflowers along the trail.

After that, we went around the lake to the frog trail and wen wu temple..

The fog trail.

Our last stop for the day was at Shuishe lakeside.
The view was breathtaking..If we were to stare at the lake and forget to turn BEHIND to stare at the skyline, we would've missed this..

Flowers blooming under the blue blue sky (Too bad The camera failed to capture the real colour of the sky.)

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't been in touch with nature for a long time or the fact that everything in SML is so picturesque.. I wish I have the talent to paint what was in front of my eyes so that I can share it with others. Since I don't, I guess photo is the next best option:)

There were quite a number of people sitting at the banks watching the haze. We wanted to watch the sunset but it was too hazy and I had a feeling it was going to rain... and it DID!

My initially impression of SML being a placed where I can explore on bicycle was totally wrong! I don't think I have the stamina to cycle even a quarter of SML.

We should have just rented a scooter (Scooter is the most popular choice of transportation in Taiwan. We never saw anyone riding a REAL motorcycle). We went to a few trails and temples and at about 3pm, we decided we had done enough for the day and we were going to wait for the sunset. The sun sets earlier in Taiwan. Unfortunately, it was too hazy and it started to drizzle after a while. We were 30 minutes away from Homestay and we thought we could make it before it rained like cats and dogs. We were wrong again. We had to return to the Visitor centre for shelter and to return the bicycle. We managed to catch the last bus back (We noticed how often we catch the bus/train last minute. Lady luck seemed to smile upon us regularly:))

On our way back, there was a number of people on bicycle forcing their way through the heavy rain and up the slope. That was when I was really thankful for not choosing the bicycle. I was able to appreciate the sceneries on our way back better than I was on the bicycle despite the rain. Alas, the camera's battery went down at that time:(

We left SML for Taichung and from Taichung, we took a train to KaoHsiung. It was suppose to be an express train (not high speed) but we had to stand for 2.5 hours coz there were no more seats since we purchased the tickets 20 minutes before the train departed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will blog more on other parts of Taiwan coz my lower back is aching. After 2 weeks of complaint to the office, my desk has yet to arrive!!!! Lying prone with laptop at the same level as my body for the past 2 weeks is killing me.

Moving

2010-04-18T03:58:00.000-07:00

Hate it.
I always thought I will stay in the same room for 3 years till I graduate. That's why I (mostly my parents did the work) painted the room and laid out linoleum. I also cleaned it before I left for Taiwan. So that I will come back to a clean room. I look forward to sleeping in my newly changed sheets after 12 days of travel in Taiwan.

Still, I am really lucky to have help from family and friends. I moved from one block to another. From 3rd floor to 4th floor. The new room was in better shape than my old one but I don't have a table and the windows won't shut properly..Those I can bear with...
What I really can't deal with is the TEMPERATURE!! Imagine travelling from 10 degree Celsius Taipei to 27 degree Celsius Malaysia. On top of that, living on the highest floor where all the hot air accumulates (think Physics) and the room facing afternoon sun... Drenched in sweat about ten minutes every time after I bathed...

Le sigh.. I need to get use to the weather or get a new box fan. Not keen to do that coz I had so many things to move when I shifted.

My new laptop is now Toshiba Lifebook LH350. I have downgraded from the previous Dell XPS and ASUS ULV but I can't really complain since I already lost 3 wallets and 2 laptops in 4 years time. But the processor is the best though.:)

The speaker is horrible and I still need to get used to the graphics as well as the weight. Now I know why the laptop deal comes with free speakers. Actually I wanted to get another ASUS model but after walking 2.0km for it to find that they ran out of stock and I had to wait another 4 days and travel to get it, I took it as a bad omen (my stolen laptop was ASUS) and opt for my second choice (similar price for lower specs).

Am straining my back now as I blog so I shall stop here. If I have the mood and a proper table, shall blog about Taiwan and Chiang Mai:)

Chiang Mai!

2010-03-04T11:40:00.000-08:00

Chiang Mai trip turned out to be a pleasant surprise!
Despite the fact that mom and dad chose the destination for the wrong reasons (they heard from our neighbours that Flight of the Gibbons is cool, and AFTER i booked the flight, they both figured that it's too DANGEROUS for me -______-) and also the fact that the trip was cut short to 2 days 2 nights (grandma had a fall on her chin, miscommunication led to me thinking about intracranial bleed and her admission to ICU did not calm down my nerves. She is fine now, thankfully), I enjoyed myself very much.

It was a nice and peaceful town. Weather was awesome too!! Even the dogs did not bark, what more trying to bite people (I have photos as evidences).I think the living things in chiang mai (people, animals and plants) all looked so serene and at peace. No wonder Kid (my roommate from first conferencec in taiwan) is so soft spoken. The people are mostly like her:) The place just seemed so calm. I just laze around doing nothing much. Unlike my other trips which are always packed, travelling with mom slowed down my pace too i think. Had too since she needs massage every few hours. out of the many things chiang mai is famous for (night safaris, elephant rides, chiang rai etc), I only managed to do one thing-- temple visits.

Doi suthep was my first stop. Followed by many other temples.
The architectures were amazing:)
And NOONE told me about the night markets! The things are insanely cheap!!
Maybe not insanely, but definitely cheaper than in Malaysia.
Would like to blog more but prefer to do so with photos (i can't upload them coz i left the cable at home):(
And the thai massage were very affordable too!
More to come when I return home.

Anyways, a summary of where I was for the past 5 days.
Penang-->KL-->Chiang Mai-->Bangkok (transit, 4 hours)-->KL(grandma at hospital)-->Penang (16 hours)-->Betong (16 hours)-->Malaysia (Baling, Bukit Kayu Hitam, 3 hours)-->Hat Yai (4 hours)--> Bangkok (FINALLY!!)

My initial plan was so simple (Pg-->KL-->CM-->BKK-->Pg)
So I am now in Bangkok, 2 days later than my initial plan but nonetheless, still here.
Better late than never:)
I won't be able to meet one friend but the rest will go as planned!!
Can't wait!

CNY Reunion

2010-02-15T21:58:00.001-08:00

Was great. We sat there and just talked for hours ( I think it was 6 hour-long chat) and drink and eat tidbits. Didn't get to influence them to play cards:P
Though there were only 4 of us, mien, tpt and hy couldn't join us (one in Glasgow-UK, another in Queensland-Australia and another one in Relau-PENANG) it was fun!
I can't remember the last time we actually sit down in penang and just talked. Must be ages ago.

How time flies. 4 years ago at this time of the year we were still waiting for our STPM results. Now three of us graduated (Jo, HY, Mien) and another 3 more graduating this year (according to Ariel, HanNee, Ping Tee, they will surely pass and graduate, it's just a matter of grades) while I will graduate next year if I can pass the professional exam in March/April.

4 years ago I don't think I'll be contented with just chatting for 6 hours and doing nothing. Now I am thankful for this precious moments where I can gather with my family and old friends. I realized too that I keep on comparing my oldself and how I've grown (according to the three of them, I did). It's either moving away from home, or medicine, or time or all of them that made me reflect on life.

Will be going to Chiang Mai and Bangkok next Saturday!
Though it was suppose to be my choice where to go for holidays (dad said I can choose), my parents decided that Chiang Mai is a safe enough place for me to go with my mom.
And plus, in Bangkok there's always shopping! Hopefully I'll buy more useful stuff rather than accessories ( I bought dozens of those and ended up not wearing them).

I've not been in touch with the outside world, pretty much since last year. Was drown in the whole conference preparation thing. But I just realized that No boundaries (Adam Lambert version) is awesome!!

YES!!

2010-02-12T03:11:00.000-08:00

RESULTS day (just end of year four)
I have been holding my breath since this morning.
yesterday, I had to wake up because the heat was too overwhelming.
but today, I was waken up by sound of piano played by my inconsiderate brother.
Still, I took as a good sign that good news will come my way today. (i slept at 5am coz I was reading another book, not as good as the first one by lisa lutz, but I had time to kill)
So anyways, I asked around and told Yee Ming to check out my results for me. And he said ok.
He knew I was anxious.
By 1pm, wanted to go out for shopping but had to wait for the news just in case I received bad news when I was shopping. I think if that really happened, I will be traumatized forever and I won't shop anymore. (Just like how everytime I passed that corner in Orthopedics Trauma Male ward where my FAVOURITE-the funky one backpack, 2 week old laptop and wallet was stolen during my 5 minute absence for ward round. long story.. But I try to avoid that corner when I can..)That would be even sadder. I mean the part where shopping being taken away as my hobby.

Back to the story. As you can see i PASSED!!! yay!!
The whole thing was dragged until evening 7pm instead of the afternoon that we all anticipated. I thank all the coursemates who sat outside the academics office (or somewhere in ktdi) waiting for our results since 1pm this afternoon. thanks!!
I went ahead with shopping, didn't really give it a thought until 5pm where I started to panic. Yee Ming told me the results were suppose to be out by 5!! I called him and he said not out yet.

Sorry, the outcome was: I was told at 7pm that I passed!! YAY! Ok i think I mentioned that too many times already.
I was always concerned everytime results were pending but this time i had real fear (i think) coz i screwed up my short case real bad. don't want to go back to that. I promise I WILL WORK HARDER this year!

didn't want to express too much of my joy on FB coz some of my friends didnt' get to make it to the exams, Long story.

I am happy and contented. Now I can get my real holiday!!
Apart from all the reports and post mortem etc...

Note to self: item no 7?? on my list: Not to use the word STUPID as many times as I did in year 2009. But i think i used too many from January 2010 till now. Those won't be counted.

I AM GOING FOR VACATION! Not sure where yet. hehe.
Happy Chinese New Year!

2010

2010-02-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to write something but didn't seem to have the time to do so. Or I was too lazy to do so?
Found out one interesting blog last Sunday when I was suppose to use my housemate's laptop to find X rays online for my upcoming exam. Instead, I read this: http://rumorsweretrue.wordpress.com/2006/11/01/pancakes-every-morning/

So totally true. Now I hate pancakes. And I think I need to procrastinate less often.
Everyone was trying to explain to me that it's totally ok to slack of last year coz we were organizing a conference etc but i know it's not. Coz I KNOW I should've done more than what I did.

BUT, let's hope that I'll do better than that in final year. Results will be out tomorrow so hoping that I can pass and have a real holiday.

It's been a crazy year for me. I spent my holidays doing conference stuff and other things like shopping but it was mainly conference stuff. Still have somethings to be done but I think I need a break. Like a real one where I can just rest and not think about anything.

My resolutions for year 2010 (I know it's a bit late but I promise I will look back at this and try to achieve them for once):
1. STUDY at least an hour day during SCHOOL DAY. (Note that i didn't use read coz I think that applies to non-fiction as well)
2. Ensure that room at least 50% as tidy as Ariel's room in Singapore EVERYDAY.
3. To spend less money on shopping and save on my post-graduation trip.
4. To pass the professional exam! That's for 2011
5. To blog more often than the year 2009. (not difficult to achieve)

can't really think of anything else to put down to the list.

I think I can read fast but that only applies to fictions. This book made me cry so hard and make me think about life.

Since I don't have you-Louise Candlish

It's thought provoking really. And the sad things that happened the past few months. The young lives lost during the dragon boat practice tragedy and the consequences of what my friends did. Life is short and we don't get to undo what we have done or said. Sometimes when you think you are helping someone, you may do more harm than good or worst, get yourself in deep trouble. And shit happens.

I thought about Nian Ning when I heard the news about the chung ling students. All of them so young and had bright future laying ahead of them. So much possibility of what they couldn've achieve. We can't really do much about the arrangement the person up there decided. yes I believe things happen for a reason and sometimes you just can't fight fate.
But what my future profession can do is, to at least to give hope to the patients' family and friends.

It sounds sad but medicine is not just about life and death as I once thought. It is also about providing quality to the patients' life. For instance, a baby can be prevented from having cerebral palsy if only the O&G people do their work better. I can actually see the picture better now but I doubt it's more than 10% of what medicine is about.

So in conclusion, I should strive harder to be the person who can at least make a change in one patient's life even just for that tiny moment.

Note to self: Item no 6. To make my thoughts more organized. As evident from the above post, I think I didn't improve much since I graduated from high school.

Happy Chinese New Year to you if you're reading this:)

Suddenly

2009-02-27T09:42:00.000-08:00

I feel like blogging.
It's been months since i last penned down some of my thoughts.
3rd year is coming to an end, that is if i pass all my papers
including the one next tuesday.
Yes my exam is not over yet, and here i am.
It's been a very enlightening year for me.
Before i entered PPUKM, i wanted life as a second year medical student to stay on and on forever.
That's because i was able to go out every weekdays. Anytime i feel like going out.
But after spending almost a year here, I've learned more than i could have imagine back then.

I used to regret my decision taking medicine. And constantly asking myself whether i was making the right decision by leaving math and physics behind me, straying away from research based career. But now, I feel like medicine isnt that bad after all.
I finally realized that medicine is like solving problems and there's more than one answer to every problem:) Finally i've found the passion that was once inside me to choose medicine.:)

It has been a self-discovery year for me as well.
I smiled less, laughed less and talked less.
It was quite a while since i really let go of everything and think about nothing.
I wished I've made the right decision by taking up the responsibility
It will not be an easy year for me ahead. To strike a balance to become a medical student who aspire to become a safe doctor one day, and to commit myself to a one year long project, on top of the existing duties i have to the society.
I just wish that at the end of the day, it will be worth it.

There's so many things that i want to do
I want to become a safe and competent doctor by the time i graduate.
I want to keep the promise I made to myself during EAMSC, to do what i can to stop HIV/AIDS.
I want to make the event successful.
I want to become a better person, a better daughter, sister and friend.
I want to keep in touch with all my friends. the old friends back from high school i missed them so much!
I want to have fun during my years as a student.

There's so many things in life that i want to achieve.
I hope i have the determination and the strength to persist till the end.

I think I worry too much sometimes, but i think that's because of someone else' influence.
Will try to be more ME! the old me who was a happy go lucky person and life was so much nicer back then!:)

Nice quote i found on the net:
If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it.
If a problem cannot be solved, what is the use of worrying?

And i love this as well:
To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always:)

Today's Caryn's birthday and I'm sure she wont be seeing this:
But here's a Happy Birthday to you!!:)
Have a superb year dear.

How to Save A Life

2008-06-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

The Fray

emo-ing

2008-02-01T01:04:00.000-08:00

When my friend told me his teacher's daughther who's a jpa scholar died in a bus crash yesterday afternoon, i never thought she could be someone i knew.
It's nian ning.
and she's studying medic in aust.
She wanted to be a doctor since young.

Too depressed to pen down anything at this moment.
what i know is
i should appreciate what i have now,
live life with no regrets coz you dont know when it'll be your last.

Merry Christmas and happy new year:)

2007-12-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

i'm back..
cant remember the last time i blogged..
i do feel like blogging from time to time..
but i guess i'm just too lazy to wait for the webpage to load.
yes the connection in my campus is super slow.......
so slow to the extent that i have to wait 1 hr for a page to load.
scary

have to return to kl tomorrow..
to the hustle and bustle of city..
wont be getting as much holiday as last semester this time..
also wont be able to come home as often as i did for the past one and a half years.
been busy..
with what i'm not sure but somehow time flies..
i cant believe that it's going to be year 2008 in a matter of days..

been back in penang since thursday night
it's a 5 day holiday we "snatched" from our super tight schedule(as compared to the last 3 semesters)
we had to rearrange our time table with the lecturers so we have friday and monday off since tuesday and thursday are public holiday.
and this time.. i really feel like i'm on holiday..
no books no impending test:)
but i'm sure i'll suffer once i get back to kl tomorrow..
sigh..

went out every single day since i'm back except sunday
been listening to some nice songs lately..
old ones..
there's this movie called music and lyrics
starring drew barrymore and hugh grant
before the movie, i always thought that i preferred music over lyrics
but the opposite is true.
there are some songs that i used to ignore in an album
that melt me now..
i think i used to like pop songs a lot too..
but now i think i like jazz too:)
singers that i hated or the songs that i would never listen to last time..
are filling up my laptop's memory.. fast:)
i'm not sure whether the transition in my choice for songs is purely based on myself or peer influence,
an abrupt or gradual change..
but what i know is..
i LOVE music:)
there you go newiep.
hope you're still reading:)

sick:(

2007-10-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

down with fever and sore throat
and i'm still blogging from faculty
sigh
but at least i dont fall sick as often as i did in year 1
which was about once every fortnightly
everyone's not suppose to study when they're having fever
or work.
but my inhuman effort has brought me to my last small group session
the last time i skipped becoz i was sick,
i was told the session itself weighed 15% of my gradeO_O
so i'm not risking my marks
but still can't really speak out loud
wondering how on earth i'm going to present my facts later on
not that i have much to talk about
i'm babbling here coz i cant do so with my vocal cord
it's inflammed and painful even when i dont speak at all!
and i even had difficulty in sleeping

i can sleep for like 4 hours in the afternoon
and then sleep at 12midnight
however, after less than 2 hours of sleep i had to get up coz the pain was unbearable
refusing to take any paracetamols. only medicine i take was strepsils...
but it doesnt work
i think i need opiod analgesics.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhh

everytime i start to study i'll fall sick:(
assessment is on next tuesday
and i think...
i have 90% of lecture notes waiting to be covered.
it's ok if i can't study
but the thing is
i cant enjoy myself as well!
i cant sleep, cant talk, cant go sing karaoke!
ish

but..
i'm going to play pool tonight!
yay!
i think the fever's going away once i see a pool table.
who knows what i need is not antibiotics but as simple as a pool table?
i hope there will not be many people
i hate cigarrette smoke:(

Home:)

2007-09-28T02:06:00.000-07:00

after more than month in kl
i think this is the longest time i've been away from home.
Woke up at 12pm
coz i read meg cabot's every boy's got one.
can't remember when was the last time i read her book
But it's an ok book.
used to love princess diaries
but now what i want to read is harry potter!

anyway, it feels great to be home
am going to give mien a surprise hahaha
she doesnt know i'm back
haha:)

1st day as a twenty year old

2007-09-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

met angie at midvalley for lunch
and she and liew got me a cute dustbin
i think it's a penguin but others beg to differ
it's ma duck according to them
left midvally at 6pm

ming wai, steven pang and wee keong came to join us after that
mr super nice ming wai went home to get car after his work
then they drove all the way to this place near sunway called yuan steamboat
with fantastic roast chicken..
fyi, sunway and setapak is quite far:p
but the company was even better!!
we laughed like crazy and took silly pictures with mien and ming wai's camera.
our dinner started at 10pm
and ended at 12
after that, went to setapak for yam juice session
:)
talked till 3am
then the guys left
girls continued chatting till 630am
-_-III
going out to ikea soon
it's a fun weekend and i'm glad mien and khee came all the way down
made my weekend a great one.:)

wish u were here pei wen!

matchbox 19 no more

2007-09-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

officially twenty today
thanks to everyone who remembered
i'm so touched!
had a great day yesterday
today will be even better
mien and kie came all the way from penang
and being surrounded by old friends is so nice:)
but new friends also celebrated with me:)
went to this place called hot mama yesterday
first time been there
kinda nice
and i got a mooncake (chocolate walnut) as a birthday cake
so sweet and special.:)
thanks again guys
the card was really nice
zi teng made me a card
super nice
arts and craft is so her stuff:)
ru hui drew me a card
so comical i couldnt stop laughing:P
si ling and stella both made me a poem each
one in chinese another in english
last night
hsiao hoay drove 6 of us to to feeling cafe in wangsa maju
1st time been there too
though not as nice as big thumb cafe in penang:P
although it was a rocky ride
we arrived safe and sound:)
screamed all the way until we reached the destination
the trip itself was more memorable hehehe
i have a feeling it's going to be a great year
:)
i wish for 100 more wishes
one of it will go to all my friends
everyone can stay happy and the world would be a nicer place to live in=)

shock

2007-08-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

in medical terms means failure of circulatory system to maintain adequate perfusion of vital organs.
however, i've been using the word more than 5 times today.
and it has nothing to do with the above definition.
what i am trying to say is
i am VERY surprised.
even that's an understatement.
can't write anything much about the event here coz it's suppose to be a secret.
i always think that people are so predictable.
Proven wrong today.
The people that you least expect to come up with surprises,
might just make you fall off your chair.
luckily i was standing at that time.

Post mid semester break period

2007-08-27T02:51:00.001-07:00

Went out thrice within five days
Monday-
watched ratatouille at times square.
had kenny rogers as lunch(boring)
note to self: i hate rats!
even cartoon ones

wednesday
skipped a lecture to go sing karaoke at sungei wang plaza
sang for 2 hrs because it was school holidays
and all the students in KL apparently have no where else to go
so i went back wanting to sing more:(

friday:
went to times square again after class at 1230 pm:(
this time, to shop for food for steamboat for 9 people.
only 2 of us went
secret recipe's tom yum pie is SO NOT NICE
and the guys didnt go at all
me and zi teng ended up carrying rm 70 worth of food for ourselves and another 7 guys
super heavy:(
rushed back to faculty for a class at 245pm

ken fetched me and zi teng's plus her housemates at 8pm.
he was suppose to come at 7 something.
so typical of guys to oversleep and turn up late

steamboat was suppose to start at 8 but.. by the time we reached sri pelangi it was already 830pm
and the preparation process took more than an hour
played need for speed carbon which is freaking cool
while zi teng and nelson went down to get ribena and yee mee for us
it took them more than half and hr to be back.
zi teng showed up with mahjong tiles!
HUGE ones
hhaa
so touched coz both of them had to walk some distance to get it
plus zi teng nagged her friend non stop to get the mahjong
you see, i really wanted to play mahjong badly.
it was my main agenda for going to setapak.

played mahjong all night. from 11 till 430am
non stop other than toilet breaks.
3 players type and i wasnt really familiar with the rules
but it's kinda fun although i lost money to ken and zi teng
both of them are masters in the game.
but it was fun

think i'm getting old because i was soo tired when we stopped playing
used to be able to stay up for camp preparation
without sleeping for 3 days
:(
ken sent us back at 730am
but people was fogging my hostel by the time i reached.
-_-III
then i slept from 9 am till 530pm on saturday.

today=monday
2nd week of new module
and it still feels like holidays:)
went out for karaoke again
this time
sing for about 3.5 hours
and now
i'm done with karaoke.
at least for 2 more weeks.

sigh..
long list of outings
but can't even finish one lecture note.
i seriously need to put more effort into my studies..

2007-08-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

After 2 ++ hours of relentless trying,
i finally get connected to the internet!!!!!!
WOHOOOOOO
reformatted my laptop to windows xp already
but found out yesterday that the connection is so slow
and i mean realllly slow
it's like an hour to open a page-_-II
so after trying without getting frustrated,
i succeeded!
patience and determination do work!
maybe i'm should try that on my studies:P

guilty

2007-07-22T20:57:00.001-07:00

is what i should feel now.
but..
came back for the weekend to send tpt off
and also because i skipped class today.
so i have about 2 days in penang.
my initial plan was to study at home
but instead, i lazed around and went out shopping all day
-_-III
just cut my hair so newiep if u want to see it, if u are reading
drop me a line:P
sigh....
have no idea what to write
and bus's leaving in 2 hrs time
and i havent pack.

mid semester break is in 3 weeks time
and i'm so looking forward to it so i can spend some quality time at home.
i'm doing cardiovascular system now.
pretty interesting but i'm too lazy to study
:(

ok this is a meaningless blog it's for me to re read and know that i should study harder
so just ignore it

eventful 2nd year

2007-07-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

this is the third week of me being a second year student
1st week of 2nd year,
we went to HUKM
and we were taught how to measure blood pressure using stethoscope
body temperature and bandaging
but that's not where the real fun begin..

2nd week..
we had to learn to perform ECG on each other
ECG=electrocardiogram..
we had to palpate (touch is a more disgusting word) our friends' ribs and intercoastal space
then we have to place 6 electrodes on the chest area..

you see, my friend in thailand told me..
the procedure was done on their male course mates for demonstration...
coz the prof thinks it's a bit invasive for girls

but sadly for my uni, the lecturers dont think so..
so we were separated into girl and guy groups
and i was the model the lecturer used to demo
having more than 10 pairs of eyes staring at ur chest is super embarassing-_-III
and those eyes belonging to your course mates make the matter worst..
and i developed rashes after thatO_o
i'm a hypersensitive person:P

and tomorrow
we have to prick ourselves and test the hemoglobin level,
hematocrit level and also to determine our blood group..
and we need to use needles..
and we need to do it four times..........
and i'm so going to skip lab tomorrow

Stress-free Moi

2007-07-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

been super busy since class started 2 weeks ago..
and i was very wrong about my college's wireless connection.
I'm currently using my bro's laptop,
which is a older model and slacker laptop
but it can get me access to internet so i dont care if it's ugly
we're now both very happy people
coz apparently only windows xp can access to internet in my hostel
while my laptop's super sensitive wireless detector can detect wireless connection from the cafe below my bro's rented apartment
he lives on 2oth floor..

went to green box today to destress
and ended up shopping for stuff that i dont really need
-_-III

unbelievable!

2007-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

i'm now sitting on my bed in room C101 in KLwhich will be my room for another 10 months or so
the room's pretty clean now that i've sweeped and mopped the floor very thoroughly..
i'm a hygiene freak you see.
but... the bathroom is super disgusting.
i have had my own room since standard 5
but it feels different to be alone in a hostel room in KL
it's not scary but not exactly fun either.
didnt expect much when i get the room..
thought the wireless network the university asked us to pay for will not work..
however, after trying to connect to the internet for 10 minutes or so.. i succeeded! congratulations to KTSN(name of my hostel) for FINALLY being able to set up a wireless network! and luckily i did get myself a laptop haha
this is a moment to be remembered and thus here i am.
hopefully the connection will be faster next time :)
cant seem to connect to msn messenger:(

tomorrow's the first day of my 3rd semester..
and joni and mien just came back..
didnt get to spend much time with them..
and i just found out that the next holiday is in 8 weeks time:(
and it will be one week long only:(
it's almost one in the morning, will have to get up at 630 am so that's all for now.. but definitely more to come!! cheers!

New Semester's Resolution

2007-06-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

I went into university without being mentally prepared for leaving home and be independent.
so i had no time to think about things that i should do and shouldnt do.
so here's my new semester's resolution
1) procrastinate less since i know it's impossible to not procrastinate at all
2) keep my ~~table~~ ROOM clean and tidy
3) to study for my formative assessments properly
4)pay attention in medicine and society
5) study consistently, not last minute
6)exercise more
7)nap= sleep less than 2 hours
8)shop less
9)not to call mom when i break something eg class
10)have proper meals
11)be less choosy over food
12)wash more than one piece of garment everytime i do the laundry
13)keeping my lifestyle healthy
14)fall sick less often(not sure whether this is something i can control)
15)treat people nicer
16) be a better person:)

travelling

2007-06-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

from penang to kuala lumpur on bus = boredom
many people are amazed that i managed to come back so often
and i always laughed it off
i think i wanted to return so badly that the 5 hour journey doesnt matter much to me.
i mean, i was fine with travelling for that long so that i can enjoy my weekend at home
instead of spending it at the hostel where good food is totally absent.

i went to kl last thursday evening to check into my new room.
the journey to kl was ok coz i was very tired and i slept all the way there.
but on the journey back,
i had abundant sleep the night before
so basically
i wanted to rip perak state off the map so that i can reach penang faster.

my new semester is commencing this monday.
and i'm so not looking forward to it.
i do miss SOME( a small number of people) of my coursemates BUT
i would rather miss them for one more month than to return sooner.
and yes my holiday is very very short compared to others.
and yet, it's the longest holiday for us.

i want to play more songs finish every show on tv
go out more often before i head back to kl
to be exact, before i go back to the life where i had nothing better to do than sleep.
i wish my uni life can be as exciting as some of my friends
or maybe i'm just too lazy to find things to do.
mhm
i shall put in more effort to make my life funner!

Collide

2007-06-06T01:43:00.000-07:00

Collide- Howie Day
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Photography

2007-06-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

I love to take photos.
but i'm very very far from being good at it.
the photos dont always turn out to be nice ones
especially those of people.
but here's a few that i really like:)
enjoy!=)
p.s. it's not my skills that improved, it's the camera that i used:p
and lastly, a picture of me=)

impulsive and indecisive

2007-05-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

that's the two words that i can think of to describe me after what i did yesterday.
i highlighted my hair maroon colour.
while this might sound trivial to you, it's the most daring "stunt" i did after i pierced my ear's cartilage 2 years ago when i was in form 6(it was illegal and i wore earring to school everyday but i was never caught).
both actions dont sound like the normal me would do.
and i went into the hair saloon without the intention of doing anything else with my hair other than cutting it shorter.
nor did i went to gurney with my mother with the idea that i will leave the building with one hole in my ear.
hence the word impulsive.
and i know by highlighting my hair i just made myself a hypocrite.
i was so against the idea of applying something permanent in my hair when i was younger
and i said i will not dye my hair, ever.
yeah.
while i was sitting there and waiting for the dye to stain my hair, i started regretting already.
i thought about the possible damage that my fragile hair would have to suffer
and all the hair care product i have to use.
sigh.. conditioning hair is no easy job.
bearing the consequences already.

as for indecisive, i have always wanted to dye my hair red, or maroon.
but,
the hairstylist suggested dark brown and other shades of the same colour.
he said it's more natural-looking.
so after convincing my mother than i should highlight my hair and i lied that it wouldnt be something outrageous.
it was all up to me to decide what colour i want.
after what seem like an eternity to the hairstylist, i said
ok, brown it is to the hairstylist.
before he even managed to turn his back and get the dye ,
i said ,
hey wait! err i think i want maroon!thanks.
sigh..
the look that he gave me was like all the sales girls usually do when i go shopping.
O_o
i think the colour's ok
you can see it if u come near me
but from a far u can only tell that my hair's black.
plus, you can only see that it's maroon under the sun or light.
if my hair survive this, and i think red is cooler than black, i'll probably dye my hair next time.
so dont worry, i'm not a redhead, yet.
and oh, the colour will fade and turn to some non-maroon colour, maybe brown in 3 weeks time.
so i have to take loads of pictures before that!:)

a different kind of holiday

2007-05-20T02:14:00.000-07:00

most of my year end school holiday were spent preparing for guiding camps.
painting banners, building towers and sculptures, burning the midnight oil to plan dance and then practice them.
Jota, EYTC , CHCHS's camp, CTC and Traplex.
although i've been to different camps, the competitons and rules differ slightly, and i worked with different people, the things i do was routine.
day in day out, we go to someone's place, the so called meetings were never ending..
and we stayed overnight, joked and then strived hard to finish the preparation.
and by the time the camps ended, our 2 months long holiday were gone too.

while for post stpm and spm days, i stayed at home watched tv, online and most of the time, hang out with friends.
didnt work after spm, went to a camp in MMU, then a trip to hongkong, came back, let myself rot at home, online(i was new to internet back then) , go out yam cha, played a bit of basketball. the holiday lasted for 6 months. by the time it almost ended, i couldnt wait for form 6 to start. i was bored to death.
post stpm days, worked for 5 weekends, couldnt take it and quitted. went out more, more late night outs, started to play a bit of pool this time and learned yoga!and when it was time to leave for university, all i wanted to do was linger in penang. i didnt want the holiday to end.
maybe subconsciously, i knew that was the last time i could be so carefree??

back to the topic of the post,
and now that i am in university now, the longest holiday will last for a month plus.
max is for a month and a few days:(
so i've been to every major mall in penang.
two very lengthy karaoke sessions,
played piano for quite a bit which is unusual..
i can play simple arrangements of canon in D
and a few new songs.
also, did a bit of reading these few days.
to be exact, i read two books.
amy tan's the bonesetter's daughther and michael connelly's the lincoln lawyer
two totally different genre.
my friend highly recommend me amy tan so i read it.
this is her first book that i've read
and it's pretty good. a lot of background on old china.
but i like the second one better.
i kept reading till the end.
and i think i spent4 or 5 hours on it.
a lot of suspense here and there.
it was a very very long time ago since i read fiction. about half a year perhaps??
it's amazing how long i can read a fiction book and not even last an hour when it comes to academics stuff:P
having read the two, i think my reading speed has deteriorated.
and so is my english.
maybe it's becoz i read too much in a short time for the exam??
the lecture notes are all given in point forms and also, i seldom read or refer to books since i dont have enough time to do so:P

i'm thinking of indulging myself with a few james patterson's books.
have been eyeing maximum ride for quite some time.
just that i used to to think it was more worthy to splurge on clothes than books.
same applies to medical books.
that is why i have much fewer books and more clothes to pack compared to my roommates.
and since i wont be able to go to korea this july coz there's no more places left for juniors,
i can spend the money that's suppose to go to the trip.
i'm super depressed coz i wont be able to meet up with people from taiwan:(
no more trip around korea as promised by chris.
he's from korea and promised to drive us around seoul!!!
and in seoul they can watch tv from their cellphone!
and i was planning to backpack around korea with leo.
all the plans gone down the drain:(
most of all, i dont get the chance to skip boring lectures legally
and have fun and meet interesting people.
and there was nothing i could find to replace that trip in prangin mall.
i'll try gurney again next week.
maybe a few good books can take my mind off the matter.:(
reading can be therapeutic if no memorizing is required.
sure hope that applies in this case.

think i'm going to eat more banana.
it's said to cheer people up coz it contains tryptophan.the good thing is, it's not very fattening:)
but not sure whether that's true.
if it's not, i'll turn to ice cream and chocolates. that always work.:)

I passed!!!!

2007-05-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

wohooooo!!!!
for once in a very long time, i'm glad that i passed.
yes, i kind of forgot when was the last time a pass made me so happy!
and now, year 2 is waiting ahead.
that means, more stuff to cramp inside my head.
but i'm still happy!
there's only one thing that i would like to change..
i want to make the holiday longer!!:(

celebrated with joe and hanee at queen's bay
it wasnt a planned celebration since i was told by pj that the results are out
when i was about to go out.

watched spiderman 3 but i think it was kinda long winded.
tried to buy something for myself but couldnt find something that's cheap for me to buy.
so i'm going shopping with mom today!:P

and also, i wont be able to go to korea this july coz all the places are taken.
sigh.......
wont be able to meet up with mei leo zion amy sarah and chris
i'll miss you guys!
but the good thing is
since i dont have to save money for the trip, that means i can spend the money on shopping!!!!
wohooooooo!
cool!

penang redbox rules!

2007-05-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

went to redbox with yj yesterday.
booked a room for 2 students..
sang from 2 to 6pm.
non stop.
and i paid rm10!
wahahaha..
well..
if u guys cant remember, they used to have the rule that 2 person can sing 2 hours only
but yesterday, they let us sing more than 3 hours and we left coz yj was in a rush..
if not, maybe we could've continue until 8pm??:P
but then when i reached home, felt so sleepy..
sigh.. getting old means getting fatigued easily

craving for pool now.......

My 1st year life in UKM

2007-05-12T04:47:00.000-07:00

since i didnt update for such a long time, i doubt anyone would read this.
however, i decided to compensate my long absence with two posts:P

things that i have done during 1st year:-
1) went to eamsc taiwan(see, it's the top on my list)
2)joined choir for first time ever
3) went to a malay village for community service( also my first time)
4)gotten myself a facebook account:p
5)joined basketball matches and i gpt a gold medal.. coz we defeated our seniors!!
6) first time ever, joined decoration department for function:p(last time used to be mc-ing)
7)discovered that i like anatomy(well, so far, i dont hate it yet)
8)also, i suck at histology.
9)took white bread 5 days in a row for 3 meals a day-- i was sick, very sick
10) wash my own clothes
11)then fold them
12)swept and mopped floor
13)touched the cadavar without wearing gloves-- ospe stations never provide us with that,. and i had 4 minutes to answer so many questions..

dont think i have accomplished much in first year...

the list of stuff that i lost in KL
1) handphone-- when i bought it, it was rm400
2)touch and go card. rm 50 still left
3) specs-- i wore it for less than half a year-- rm 350
4)a nike pencil box, my 19th year old present from ying and tpt- price unknown
5) 2 sets of pilot highlighters each set 10 colours- rm 70
6)microb and immuno book- rm 65
7)dropped my purse, but luckily found it back...
8)name tag-rm20
9)matrix card-rm8

yes, as u can see, i lost lots of stuff.. i'm very careless i know

also, i've fallen sick for at least 5 times. mostly fever..
diarrhea.. uncountable..
and the cat fleas bite was the most recent one
oh ya..
i slipped and bruised my knee

it's a big transition definitely
to move from penang to kl
it's going to get tougher
hope i have the strength to finish the path i've chosen.
i'm sure it hasnt been easy for you guys too.
or perhaps, you have gone through tougher phase..
i salute those who managed to survive:)
still....
growing up sucks:(
leaving home sucks even more.

Holidays

2007-05-12T04:35:00.000-07:00

it's for a month only:(
so much shorter compared to others:(
still..
i've been looking for it since err the 1st day i started uni:p
a lot has happened since the last time i blog..
went to taiwan, met a lot of interesting characters, saw lots of nice buildings and views,
and above all, learnt a lot!
also, i bought a laptop during pc fair,dell's xps M1210
during exam week, i was attacked by a bunch of black microscopic creature.
they are immortal unless u chopped off their head.
resistant to heat, and alcohol.
i'm talking about cat fleas.
and how kind of them to leave me souvenirs-- disfiguring spots:(
so instead of being able to wear nice stuff for holidays, i'd have to stick to jeans.:(

here's a couple of things i'm planning to do for the holiday:-
1) meet up with old friends
2) not to leave penang island
3) watch lots of tv until i'm sick of it
4) shop
5)play piano
6)awatch movies
7) watch house, gray's anatomy, prison break, etc..
8) swim
9)dance!!

hopefully there's enough time for me to accomplish all those.
so dont want to think about returning to kl:(

home sweet home

2007-05-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

the record

2007-01-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

went to try contact lenses last night
and after an hour of trying, i still couldnt get the lens into my eyes
thus, i left the shop since it was late
not wanting to give up,
i went back to the shop again this morning,
but i was not sure that there'll be a day that i'll be able to wear contacts.
but after 2 hours of trying,
i managed to get the lens into my eyes
but that was after the girl working in the shop shoved the lens into my right eye.
but apparently,
there's this guy who took 3 days of practice to put the lens into his eyes
so basically
i'm not the worst,
just BAD.
the reason for me to insist on wearing contacts is
coz i'm going to taiwan
and we'll be doing this fashion show thingy
so we'll need to make up
and make up and specs dont go well together
plus i dont want to take the risk of tripping on stage,
thus all the trouble of wearing contacts
but now,
i'm still very afraid of wearing contacts
i prefer specs,it's easier and definitely safer:):)

2007-01-18T09:03:00.000-08:00

it's been some time since i last posted something here
but i just need to scream this out
i'm going to taiwan!!!!!!!!!
WOHOOOOOOOOOOOo
yay!
well
it's not exactly holiday
i'm attending this conference called east asian medical students conference
and i'll be skipping a week's lectures
but i dont care about the lectures
i'm too excited!
but right now
i have a lot of stuff to worry about
so i guess
i wont be able to visit u newiep
coz
i'll spend all my money in taiwan:P

leaving penang

2006-12-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

my 20 days holiday is cut short to 20-4-8 days=8 days
coz i'm leaving for kl in 3 hours time:(
had a great time but too bad it's too short
sigh
back to study i guess
to everyone:-
aza aza fighting!

long or short hair?

2006-12-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

sigh
since i've never really let my hair grow
i thought i might let it grow for once
but the thing is
it's so troublesome
and the weather in kl is freaking hot
plus
i have to wait extra long for my hair to dry before i sleep
therefore depriving myself of rest i will desperately need
but i stil think i dont have the guts to let it grow
funny isnt it?
everyone is so anxious for their hair to grow longer and longer
for me
everytime it grows i'm excited to go for haircut
i'm weird

i finally found the guts to paint my nails
well toe nails
it's the first time i did it
and it's black
dad didnt like it
so does mom
and frankly i dont think it suits me
plus
i'm not good at painting nails
haha
so basically it's disasterous
but it's ok
i can wear sneakers everywhere i can and nobody will see it except my family
and those that come over to my place.
but i still think it's cool:P

celebration!

2006-12-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

not for christmas or new year.
better than that
i passed all my papers!!!
yay!
despite not studying for zt i still managed to pass:):):):)
pheww
maybe i passed with a C i guess
PHEW
meaning
if i make sure i dont screw up my second sem exam
i'll have like less than a month's holiday for next sem
sigh
well, i guess it's better than none
will start a brand new sem in less than a week's time
5 days to be exact
i dont feel excited
sigh......
why cant my holiday be longer???
why???

FINALLY!

2006-12-13T04:27:00.000-08:00

yay!
i can online from home now!
weeee
yes!
it's been more than a week since i finished my exam
and the only thing i have acheived so far is getting my computer infected with malware
since my two brothers were not around then
i had to watch tv like crazy everyday
and i'm hooked..
10 hours a day
yes, more tv less online then
it'll change i'm sure
but now, i've got a tv show to catch:p

almost done

2006-11-30T23:52:00.000-08:00

with the exams
one more practical session left on tuesday

i hate to be sick
but it just have to happen
the day before i went back to kl which is last friday
it started to rear its ugly head
and on saturday
the cough was so bad that i couldnt sleep
and i think by the time i recover the folds in my lungs will be decreased by 50%
the total surface area for gaseous exchange might be reduced so bad that my stamina will be affected as well:(
i hate getting flu
and it had to be on the exam week
but nevermind
i'll be fit when the exam is over
meaning
i've been sick for a week now
the cough wont go away
and the running nose keep coming back
;(

and i fell
scratched my leg and bruised my arms
a series of unfortunate events, no?
but nevermind
i will be able to enjoy my holidays to the max
yay!

study leave

2006-11-20T21:49:00.000-08:00

it's one of the cool things about uni/coll
it makes u think that u can cramp everything in a week
i used to study a week before exam in secondary and it fitted me perfectly well
so one whole week of holiday just to study is more than enough
that was what i think
the thing is
i overlooked two things
1)what i study for a month in form 6 is equivalent to one week's lectures
2)more time means more wastage

so basically, coming back home for study week was a bad move
really bad
but i dont regret it
since it's kinda like a holiday for me
meaning
1)i have more holiday than i thought
2)i can eat nice food=boost my mood=study at a faster rate

staying at home means i can watch tv and online anytime i want
and also go out with friends since 99.9% of public uni students are having sem break
the 0.1% being those from the same uni and same course as me.
:(
i think i'll feel depressed if i stayed at hostel and study instead
and maybe i'll study more and also make myself feel more miserable
and my principle is to make myself happy
besides carrying very very heavy bag and being made fun of
basically there's no other disadvantages

it's justified, no?

the conclusion is, i'm coming back again for the next study leave which is in about 5 months time
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i have extra 2 weeks of holiday!!!!!!
WOHOOOOOOOOO

3 weeks+2 weeks=5weeks
my holiday, well, that is if i dont FAIL any paper.
fail=C minus or below
please pray for me and lend me all your luck.:):)

happy holiday!!
see you all in 2 weeks
or earlier if i cannot resist the urge to watch casino royale.:):)

to pei wen, thor

2006-11-14T06:50:00.000-08:00

i know this is very late but i still want to wish u a
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

that's the largest blogspot allows.
before u start hitting me,
please understand that i live in a place deprived of internet connection
and thus causing a late post for you.
And also, life's been hectic here coz sem exam is in 2 weeks' time.
Not that i've done much on it, havent started on it yet,
but there's a lot of lectures and things to be done.
and also, i dont have any pictures of u right now
therefore, please forgive me ok?

i miss the times we get to chat non stop online as if the distance isnt there
i hope everything are fine there.
Have a great year( i know you will, no doubt, but i still want to say it)
and have loads of fun
because you are suppose to have my share of fun
since i'm unable to do that thus far.
Stay positive and stay thin:p
i'm in a rush, test's on friday.
I know this cannot possibly compensate for my lateness
but u should spend ur time wisely since you're 20 already
so no point wasting them to get mad at me:p
see you in a month's time, at msn.:):)
can't wait!

2006-10-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

holiday is ending soon
in less than 48 hours time i'll be heading back to kl
sobsob..
and what have i done for the past 5 days?
1)eat lots of prawns
2)and also crabs
3)and nice food in general
4)watched john tucker must die(a MUST SEE)
5)online for at least 4 hours a day
6)watched tv for like 5 hours a day
7)played a bit of piano(dad finally asked someone to tune it:):))

didnt do the ppd assignment
which i'm suppose to
but that's because my ppd mate cant send me the files through internet
and i just realised i dont have the software to do it
i'm so dead

sigh
all the USM ppl are having exams soon
next week actually
therefore, no kaki to yam cha and play pool
WHY it's only for a week?
arghhhhhhhhh

going to watch the prestige or maybe stormbreaker later
brought 3 freaking heavy books and study none.
what a waste of effort:(
maybe i'll look through pharmacology later??
IF
1) i dont watch tv
2) reach home before 12
3)refrain myself from surfing the net

john tucker must die is super funny
laughed all the way till the end

2006-10-23T00:53:00.000-07:00

things to be done :-
1)study biomolecules module
2)edit movie clip for ppd presentation
3)find software to do that
4)watch the prestige and john tucker must die
5)blog, bathe, change in 15 mins time. hy is coming to pick me up
we are going to watch john tucker must die!

been obsessed with this song recently
it's not a new song
but i like it
i'm going to sing it in the next karaoke session
which is after my hols with coursemates
weeeeee

歌曲：隐形人
歌手：孙燕姿专辑：完美的一天

无论你肯或不肯我都选择等
等到你结束好久
探险的旅程
要是没有寂寞陪衬
没有途中的灰尘
你怎会向往家门

你越是想要诚恳
其实越残忍
伪装不了你对我
漠视的眼神
你不许我听信永恒
不许我迷信我们
不许我奋不顾身

多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

朋友都于心不忍
责备我愚蠢
但他们都回避我
执着的眼神
可知我对爱的虔诚
可知我迷信我们
可知我难得放任

多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

多想化成隐形的人
掩饰我伤痕
给你我的体温
好帮你驱走寒冷
看不见也能感受心疼
我想化成隐形的人
隐藏我的泪在翻滚
我在你凌乱世界
留下的指纹
对你是没心跳的一个吻

argh

2006-10-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

the entry i just typed for 2 hours
is gone
damn
so now instead of a very long one
i have this very short entry
too lazy to retype
ishhh

2006-09-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

this is the 3rd consecutive weekends i'm spending in penang.
my nokia 6030 was stolen at sunway pyramid
i guess the fella took it from my bag when i was wearing shoes
sigh
all the numbers are gone
and worst still
i need to get a new phone
i hate making decisions
there's so many phones in the market now
damn
but i'm still using the old number
spent the whole day online yesterday
think i'm going to fail this module
didnt study the lectures since the module started
been busy travelling between ktsn and bangi, penang and kl
procrastinating is hard to get rid of i guess
take care guys
see u all on 20th!
p/s
please sms me with your name stated so i know it's you

see you next year:):)

2006-09-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

u hurried into the gate without saying much
and we know why
dont worry
none of us cried
we shall be here waiting for your return
i'm sure u'll have loads of tales to tell us
and u'll be able to adapt no matter what
u are one of the strongest among us

taken during graduation day
seeing the pics make me want to cry
take care my friend
all the best

tagged

2006-09-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

am suppose to be singing in redbox now
with wei yean jiah ling looi and also the person who tagged me
instead of sitting here doing the tag
but the period cramp is killing me
so had to cancel lunch with ty and yj plus k session
T_T
sorry guys
but the pain is too overwhelming

here goes
a tag that looi thinks is interesting

Name 20 people you can think of and answer the questions below.
Then, you can tag 5 people to do this survey.
1.wen ying
2.looi
3.jiah ling
4. ariel
5.hui ying
6.tpt
7.jo
8. mien
9.teh
10.wei loong
11.peter
12.wai kuan
13. ah hoay
14.yeoh
15.pj
16.sharen
17.tyan shin
18.lye fen
19.tham
20.alvis

Question time:
1. How did you meet #14?
both of us were librarian in form 1 and were classmates till form 5
now we're coursemates
living a few rooms away
now i see her everyday

2. What would you do if you hadn’t met #1?
i wont be doing the tag for starters
and i will lack one good friend:):)
my form 4 life would be much less interesting:):)

3. What would you do if #20 and #9 dated?
nothing
i'll just sit back and watch the drama
but i think it'll be quite interesting:p

4 Would #6 and #17 make a good couple?
err...
definitely not
coz they are not lesbians?

5. Describe #3
she thinks she's a tiny fish although she breathes using lungs
she can sing and i just ffked her
she's RICH and lives in mont kiara
and i used to go to her place and overnight a lot
and most of all
a great friend to have
:):)

6. Do you think #8 is attractive?
to me?
NO coz not pretty enough :P
not as pretty as my wife HAHAHA
but to guys
i think so

7. Tell me something about #7
we've been through a lot
and she's in a camp now
and were unable to go for my bday celebration yesterday
cis

8. Do you know anything about #12’s family?
yeah, she has 2 other siblings
and she's the smartest
her mom can really cook
her dad is a restaurant manager

9. What is #1’s favourite?
hot guys??
:P

10. What would you do if #11 confesses that he/she likes you
i'll do thisO_O
i'll say we are better off as friends
but i'm not his type
and his not my type too

11. What language does #15 speak?
fluent english-band6
canto-she's a kl-ite
malay- normal
broken chinses-band 1:P

12. Who is #9 going out with?
at this moment, she said she's not seeing anyone:P
i dont know about next second

13. How old is #16?
20, turning 21 on jan

14. When was the last time you talked to #13?
thursday,21st sept 2006
4pm
i was leaving for pudu:)

15. Who is #2’s favourite singer?
sad to say
i dont know
sorry looi:(

16. Would you date #4?
anytime!
she's my wife
and my wife is perfect
DUH

17. Would you date #7?
if i'm a guy and i'm tall enough
i will:P

18. Is #15 single?
i think so?

19. What is #10’s last name?
khaw

20. Would you consider being in a relationship with #19?
nope
we are too alike

21. What school did #17 go to?
sacred heart primary and secondary
kmph and now ukm

22. Where does #6 live?
gelugor, penang.

23. What is your favourite thing about #5?
hmm...
yi qi?

24. What do you think about #13?
love sick:P

25. What do #4 and #18 have in common?
both look after me well
18 is my room mate vtw
other than that
nothing much
their background is too different

26. What special qualities does #5 hold in your life?
my lepak mate
and someone who can share her experience with me.

Tagged:
1.peiwen, i know u wouldlike this
2.anyonewho is reading this
coz basically everyone's been tagged:P

matchbox18

2006-09-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

no moreT_T
woke up at 12 in my own queen sized bed
in my spacious room
and most importantly
IN PENANG
many coursemates give me this look when i told them i'm coming back to penang
O_O
i know it's just more than a week in KL
but this time
i came back just to send mien off
that's the main reason
not to celebrate my bday
i am risking my 10 marks again in HM
coz we have a lecture on saturday
well,
i'm glad i did come back
becoz
WEI YEAN WILL BE BACK TOO!!!!!!!!
wahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
yes, i am excited when she smsed me
heheeeee
woke up at 12 today
and saw 20msgesO_O
my 3 buddies, mostly coursemates and also my pbl mates
:):)becoz my friends already smsed me last night
hehe
thanks guys
more msges came in later
thanks everyone for remembering
had an early celebration with coursemates becoz they insisted on having one
O_O
it was on wednesday night
nothing fancy just a simple cake cutting ceremony
they wanted to surprise me but me being at the right place at the right time
saw the cake and knew what was coming
18 of them were there
1.ping ling
2.siaw khing
3.ru hui
4.yan chin
5.poh jeann
6.si ling
7.sze wern
8.rou yun
9.wan chen
10.jia hui
11.jean
12.stella
13.lye fen
14.tyan shin
15.sharen
16.sue yan
17.joanne
18.kanit
+me
total=19
to celebrate my 19tgh bday
what a coincidence
joanned went to get the cake(chocolate from bread history)
and poh jeann and si ling lent me their room
becoz my room was too messy
and now it's not becoz someone cleaned it:P
gtg now
more on that later
hehe
out for another celebration
this weekend is going to be fantastic!

sigh

2006-09-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

cut my hair this afternoon
despite my friends advise
i still like being short haired.
suits my personality more
and most of all
i can help ukm save water bil
hehe
it's more spiky than the last one
and for once
my parents dont let me do what i want
they wont let me dye my hair
and me being the perfect daughter
(coz i need mom to pay for my haircut)
dont go against them
i really want to dye it red!!

leaving penang for the nth time
i lost count:(
but one thing is for sure
i still dont look forward to going to kl
back to a city where nothing really matters to me
except maybe i am pursuing my goal there??
i realised how much i have missed out of my friends' life
sigh
i used to be around when people called
and can go out whenever i like
now
it's ppl who go out when i called up
mien is leaving soon
and seriously
i cannot imagine that
she's been there all this while
throughout form6 and after that
she's always ready to fetch me
(yes, i have A LOT of friends who drive me around:p)
and most importantly
support me:)
though she's KINDA busy after form6
but she definitely brought changes to my life
one of the most important one being
appreciative of what i have
i think i'll miss you
really
and even though u like to hug me despite the fact that i HATE being hugged
by you.(i reserved that for wei yean mind you)
but i know
u are one good friend that i am very lucky to have grown close to
i'm so going to miss you
though this is not as bad when peiwen left
in the sense that i m prepared now
but still
it's tough seeing a friend leave
take care will ya??

mid sem break

2006-09-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

but..
it's only for a week:(
and if i decide to play basketball for my college
then i have to go back on thurs morning the latest
meaning i have about 3 days of holidays
sigh
better than none right?

friday was my second formative assessment
and though i was quite free for 2 weeks consecutively

have to admit that i have been quite laid back
i wish i can put more effort into my studies
but i am simply too lazy and too sleepy
but i think i'm improving

back to the assessment
it was easier this time
as we dont have essay questions
and i think i'll pass
hehe

after the assessment
we ordered pizza from pizza hut
and it took them more than an hour to deliver it
O_O
after that
went to sing karaoke at sungai wang
discovered that a few of coursemates can really sing
one of them sing as if it's the real record
damn stress..
but that's only for the girls
the guys were
ermmm
not so good

rushed back from sungai wang to reach hostel just in time for khidmat masyarakat's simulasi
khidmat masyarakat= some weird subject they make us take which is pointless
simulasi=?? i dont know what it means as well
there were 18 os us in group
and 16 of them were girls
and i'm glad
girls are easier to work with
slept at 430 am that day
and woke up at 715 am
yeah
less than 3 hours' sleep

but it's all worth it
i'm back home now
heheeeeeee

and this time
it took me about 4.5 hours to reach penang
:):)
and it's nice to not take bus alone
got more mp3 s to listen to
was bery excited about home that i cant sleep in the bus
reached home eat and eat
then read the butterlfly box until 7 am
then sleep until2pm
but i think i'm still deprived of sleep
now my eyes are swollen and they can hardly open
so please excuse me now
i need to catch some sleep
:P

the sleeping marathon

2006-09-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

woke up at 11am today
had breakfast, then washed my clothes
sat down and decided to study
but guess what
i ended up sleeping at 1 pm
woke up by nightmare at 3 pm
and it was raining
and the very irritating part about washing ur own clothes
raining means u have to collect ur clothes u hang
:(
it was 3pm remember?
bathed and while lying on my bed trying to study
guess what?
fell asleep again at 4
O_O
yeah
woke up at 6 feeling hungry
then went to cafeteria to have dinner
and ended up watching armageddon which is super nice

so if u add that up
in less than 24 hours,
the amt of sleep i get
11(i slept at 12 last night)+2+2=15 HOURS???!!!!!
freaking long

not a very productive day i guess
and formative assessment is on friday
i think i'll fail
just hope that i dont fail trerribly and my name appears on the black-list

went to midvalley and shopped yesterday
reached hostel at 8pm
and did nothing
the thing is
i 'm numb
i dont panick about the test
though i am almost clueless about this module
please pray for me so that i can pass
thanks in advance
and please lend me ur luck on friday
just for a day
:)

on armageddon:-
live tyler is super hot
ben affleck is so not
and bruce willis is hot too
but i dont like the ending
bruce had to sacrifice:(
and it's funny too
i like the part where they show different parts of the world
very colourful
:)
and the movie definitely makes me happier:)
it reminds me of aerosmith's i dont want to miss a thing:):):)
and i cried
the tv was in the cafeteria
luckily notmany ppl were there
sigh
i miss watching tv programmes and movies
:(
sobsob
and everyone is leaving soon:(
mien is leaving soon
i think i'll miss her:(

a happy belated birthday to wenying!
sorry i didnt sms u
becoz i dont have your no
heard u are leaving soon too
have fun in uk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

home

2006-08-26T01:43:00.000-07:00

was listening to it yesterday on the bus
on my way home:)
home
by michael buble
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Babe I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'mfine baby, how are you??
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home'
Cause I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home~

and yes
mpw i'm home
due to some misunderstanding
the camp is only on next week
so meaning
i have the weekend off
i'm proud to say
that
i came back alone
went to pudu alone and took bus alone
yes i m more independent now
though mom just visited me on monday and tuesday
plus spraining my leg
i still insisted on coming back
and yes it's worth the trouble:)

updates:-
performed indian dance
and sang 5 songs in a night for
makan malam with naib chancellor
all the practices are worthwhile
all my nights for the past week was occupied with singing and dancing
so i'm super tired
and oh
the naib chancellor shaked my hand:p
out of 700 students, he only did that with less than 10
becoz i was standing at the front row of choir:P
i had to wear make up for the indian dance
and i really dressed up oh
as a indian
but i didnt wear saree
just kurthi(ask any indian u can grab what that is)+slacks+scarf+choker
and also bangles!!
too bad i didnt take pics with cam. just hp:(
the indians were so excited about dressing us up
:)hehe
and i think they were very helpful
fyi, the indians did the malay dance, malays for chinese dance and chinese, indian dance
but i didnt put eyeliner
becoz
1) i dont know how to
2) i teared like mad when 2 of my friends tried to apply it on me
didnt put mascara also
but i'm happy
and did i say that i'm tired???

"If a tree fell in the forest,but noone heard it,did it fall?
If someone sacrificed something for you but they never told you about it. Did they sacrifice something?
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leave clover,is he lucky?
If you never knew what you had. Did you lose out when it vanished?"
got this from someone's blog
somethine to ponder on.

medical students are so busy
that i dont have time to read anymore though there's so many books
that my aunt gave me!

want to watch movies
but all the good ones are not showing anymore:(
too bad:(

i feel like blogging

2006-08-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

on thursday
but too bad
the computer centre wasnt open
so here i am
a post late bt more than day

updates
had my first formative assessment last friday
a lot of ppl were stressing over it
though it's just a test
where it doesnt affect our actual results
and i got my results yesterday
i only wished i could pass
that's it
the test itself was quite ok
it'ws very diffrerent from what we used to have in stpm
the answers are very close
and some questions
i have never read abt the topics at all!
and also
i dont have enough time to answer the last question
becoz i was busy elablorating unnecessary stuff:(
but it was ok
i am satisfied
i got a B+
i cant say that i'm happy or what
becoz me being my old self
didnt really put in a lot of effort
and didnt expect anything
but it's been a really long time since i last got a B+:P
so it's something new

and ya
some ppl failed.
so overally
i'm happy
i wont be going back to penang until i think nov
becoz
during my mid sem break
i may have to play basketball match
representing my college i.e hostel.
yes
it is exciting
i play basketball at least twice a week
and even more for the past consecutive weeks
becoz there's very few girls who play basketball here
so basically when there;s match
we have to join
but i do enjoy it
and i'm getting not so nice tan:(
but the down side of playing basketball nearly everyday is
i have to wash more clothes:(

i also joined choir
and i enjoy singing
i never see myself standing on stage performing with choir
so it's also something exciting as well
if u have time
listen to we are one by dont know who;P

next thursday i'll be performing indian dance!
wohoooooooo!!!
that's abt good stuff that happened

the thing is
i think i have time management prob
i go to school everyday
from 8 till5
sometimes 2
and i slept till 530 if i have basketball practice
or seven if i dont play basketball
and even if i dont play basketball
there's a lot of activities at night
sometimes last till 11
and i 'll sleep right away
after i bathe.
the thing is
i dont have time to study
my att tend to drift in lecture hall
and they say it's becoz we stom students are used to small classes
and our lectures
some are good
some are not so good
as in
you have to think five mins to comprehend what they are trying to say
here we have to do a lot of own read up
have to
but i dont:(
so i'm lagging
we are excpected to look for answers on our own
and to what extent u want to look into
is up to u

it's not easy to study in uni
and it's also not cheap to study medic
the books cost like at least one k
and i'm broke:(

basically that's all
but there's a lot of details that i skipped
i havent watch tv programme for a very long time
but i did went out last weekend
to sungai wang and times square to watch pirates 3 on friday
and midvalley on saturday
pirates was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
and also
i cant remember the last time i have home cooked food
and char kuey kak
but teh did call me on thursday night
we talked fopr an hour and that
made me feel better
so you ppl better call me:P

i'm starting to appreciate what i used to have before
so can i go back home??

lalalalalaaaaaa

2006-07-29T04:07:00.000-07:00

i'm back home again
after 2 weeks!!
^-^
so so happy!!
i didnt plan to come back until the very last minute
and therefore
i was so excited that i cant sleep on the day before!!
and on friday morning
i was WIDE AWAKE for the 3 hours of lectures!!!!!!!
( i always feel sleepy or listen to music in lectures)
haha

i'm settling down now
but i still want to come home as often as i can
i'm joining a lot of activities to keep myself busy
and also causing me dont have time to sit down and study
medical students
are really studious
most of them are
and ppl are like competing their progress with others
and it's only the 2nd week!!!
sigh
i think i'm going to do badly
but i dont care
i just want to pass and have fun!!
our cu-curriculum is a new one
and it's an integrated system which means
more fun and less lectures
but also = tougher
since we are expected to FIND our own study material
plus studying on our own
really no more spoon feeding
the thing is
our library was BURNT DOWN
yes..
meaning
we have very few books for reference
and plus
there's no free internmet access there
= we cannot look for info online
unless we PAY
0_0
what kind of uni is that??
but overally
it's ok la
coz everyone is going through the same thing
there's 241 of us 11 of them are repeating first year
that means
i MIGHT repeat if i dont study hard enough
no mood to study after 7 months of break

anyways
went shopping just now
bought two pairs of shoes
one for basketball and the other running
bought a pair of sandals yesterday from vincci
ya it is weird
i study at kl and i come back to penang to SHOP
there's so many things i want to say
but dont know where to start
but the guys there are O_O
the girls are ok
but the guys....

and when i see the matrics ppl
i feel more mature though we are of the same age
guess that's the side effect of being stuck with the 1986 ppl
just so u all can imagine the workload i'm facing
i have to complete a lab report everyweek
and also
what i HAVE to study in a week here= what i studied for 3 months in form 6
with more info
yes
it's THAT stressful
and while other students have 2 months of hols
we have less than a month of freetime
sigh
but i hope it's all going to worth it seeing the patients getting well

my dream???
graduate in 5 years' time
and still be able to stay SANE.

to my lovely wife:)

2006-07-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

the tall pretty slim smart
wei yean left for spore last sunday night
leaving the short handsome fat EQUALLY smart me behind in malaysia:(
sobsobsob...
and i wasnt there to send her off :(
and i didnt even take the initiative to call her:(
and luckily she called:)
knew her since form 1 and we were in the same class up till form6
a long long time
but we didnt grow close until form4
she's been a great friend and i think will always be one:)
always taking care of those around her
and maybe that explains why she's very popular with guys and girls too:)
what i want to say here is
dont pressure urself too much
if trying to please everyone makes u feel stress
dont do it
u have us always beside u
so sorry i didnt call u up
but life at uni is definitely not a easy one
i shall walk through it
it's been great to have u beside me in high school
and i shall miss all the great times we had together
but all of us have to move on
i'm sure u have notrouble dealing with a new environment
thanks for all the things u 've done for me
and sorry if i have done anything wrong
i hope u're having a great time there!!
see u when u're back!
MUAH!!!!

i like this picture best
though i dont look nice in it:)
cheers~~

why am i here?

2006-07-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

coz i want to help those in need
and i'm interested in people
so no matter how big the sacrifices are going to be
i'll have to bear with it
it's never easy to make decision

but now
i cant even help my own friend who is in trouble!
maybe i'm not really good at comforting ppl
i never went through it so i dont know how it feels like
but i can feel ur pain.
i hope time will heal u
as it did to others
that's the only good thing
moving on or holding on
it's all up to you
but we are here tby your side
inside ur heart
when u are feeling down and depressed
call MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CALL US!

blogging from ukm cyber cafe
and i need to pay 1.5 per hr

life here is tiring and boring
i know i'm complaining non stop
and i'm a big whiner plus bugger
but it's really tough living away from home
used to yearn to go out when i was in form 5
now i wish there's a ipta in penang that offers medic
feel so relaxed back home
and all the travelling are worth it
when i reached home
reminds me micheal buble's HOME:(

might go back again this weekend
O_o
dont give me that look
i still have a hard time adaptinfg myself here
and trying to find a new niche is never easy
fitting in and looking for new friends
are just parts of it

it's 11
and i have to go to bed by 12
if not
i 'll feel sleepy in lecture
and kena marah by lecturers

4 weeks ago
i slept at 4 am everyday
and only i can marah ppl
i can sleep anytime i want
my mom did my laundry
and i dont have to PAY for drinking water

funny isnt it?

letting go

2006-07-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

is never easy
and will never be
moving on is hard
and will always be
i guess
it's part and parcel of growing up
and no matter how reluctant and how bad u want time to stay still
u still have to move on eventually
some are prepared and can accept it
for others
they are not willing to accept the responsibility when they need to
and i'm the latter
but now i think
i will have to
no matter what
such is life:(

there's one cyber cafe in my hostel
that opens daily
from 8 PM till 12 AM
all my free time at kl now are devoted to doing my own laundry
and now
i know how hard and scary it is
to wash clothes
and i'm super lucky to have my mom to do it for me for the past 18 years

reached home 4 am yesterday
and leaving at 1 pm later
so that's a good bye to all of u:P

...

2006-07-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

i dont know where to start
so many things happened for the last 2 weeks
and many of them arent good
guess this is life
full of challenges
and unpredictable
to all my friends
if u are reading this
let's all stay strong and better days are awaiting us
dont ever give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i totally underestimated myself

2006-06-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

and that explains why i'm still here:P
for once
i'm 90% done with packing
before 12
O_O
i cant believe it too
but i think that's becoz
80% of the packing are done by my mom
sigh
i m so busy today that
i dont have time to dwell
read nkl's blog
and i can conclude that
medic is not easy
yes
nkl it's all your fault
now i'm more scared!!

this past 7 months have been great
went to a few trips down to kl
some nice and some not really
go out yam cha till morning
stayed up to watch sunrise
played the first pool game of my life
started yoga lessons
grown up 180 cm
worked as a waitress for the first time ever
get to know a few great friends and seniors
for once realised how much my parents are sacrificing for me
and first time ever, get to know how it feels like to be let down
and realised that
deep down
i just want to remain a kid
also, i did let my hair grow over my shoulder:P
started guitar lessons too!

since i didnt get to meet all u guys before i leave
i just want to say that
thanks for making my life much more intersting
and though it's a new chapter ahead
i will not forget u alllllll
and dont u guys dare to forget me

u6sA, year 2005
take care guys
i will:)
love, moi:)

leaving home

2006-06-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

how does it feels like to leave home for more than a week?
not good
not excited too

will leave penang on friday morning
8 30 am bus
dont think i'll have time to blog tomorrow
sigh
no time to feel sad also
coz
i have so many documents waiting to be arranged
and also
stuff to pack
yeah
i bought most of the things(i hope)
but yet to squeeze them all in a bag
:(

went to a some kind of farewell just now
and came home late
and can see all the documents piling up on my table
been out whole day
mom did most of the job for me really
like photocopying all the certs
certifying certs
collect medical report
open bank account
basically all
yeah i know i'm lucky
so i m thankful la
but ..
still so many things left undone!!!!!!
can die
die die die die die

i wont be blogging much from ukm
so
guys
keep in touch :)