The real battle

is on Tuesday. The clinical examination (OSCE).
Am not saying that theory paper and OSPEs are not real exam, and there is a chance that I might **** for not being able to get 50%, but at least it's a controlled situation, just me and the question, with slightly more time to think about the whole clinical scenario.
In contrary, OSCEs is more terrifying because there's the patient factor, the examiner factor or most important of all, the only variable that we can control is our own factor (not to get panicky).

approximately 6 years ago, I was panicking for STPM, afraid about not being able to finish the syllabus instead of worrying about passing/failing/excelling.
My only responsibility was to finish the syllabus that I THINK is important. ( I used notes OR maximum one text book for each subjects, and REFUSED to do any exercise/past year questions.)

I just realized how much things have changed.
In high school, if you study, you CAN answer the questions. The teachers (thankfully my school had really good teachers) will guide you and teach you every single thing you need to know (whether they were able to make you understand is a different matter, at least they tried). If you get the concept right, you have no problem answering the questions without doing any exercises.

Now, there's no proper notes, WE teach each other (so called peer learning), unsure what's important and what's not, or even able to get the facts right. There's so many things to study, with new advances in medicine everyday, with high expectations from some of our lecturers DESPITE us having limited guidance. (probably due to the fact that there's 240 of us and there's severe lacking in teaching staff)
and It's ALWAYS about passing/failing. and the answers are NOT in the books, and sometimes there's MORE than one correct answer (that's why we never call them MCQs-multiple choice questions, it's called OBA in my university-one BEST answer..).

Now, my only hope is not to be the 10% of students that my faculty fail every year in the professional exam.
Wish me luck.