think think think

tues 14 march
2 days to go
until my friends get their result

a few days ago
i told my friends
i will only worry about my results on monday or tuesday
now still early
can have fun
and obviously
the call made a huge change to my plan
when i thought that i can relax
i cant
there's more to think about
like
my kl trip
and how much i will miss out coz i wont be in school on thurs
ISH
by the time u see this
it'll be a few days later d la

and the biggest thing i have to worry about
is
MY FUTURE
wa
the word future alone is scary enough
but i cant really predict what wil happen later
so now that i am given the choice
i have to make the decision
so that i wont blame anyone later on
but maybe i'm thinking too much la
coz i obvously havent get the offer yet ler
initially( before i get the phone call)
my plan was
apply med in local univ(IF i can get good results la)
but i didnt have high hopes
coz i screwed up VERY badly in chemistry
(i know , i know.. i've said that many many times)
and have a back up plan
to apply for engineering in spore
and i if can get a place in UM or UKM med
i will take the offer no matter what
and if i cant
i will take scholarship and go to spore
and now
i am starting to doubt my initial decision
.........................
greed is human's nature
and i have a lot of that in me
i have the results i have always wanted
and now
i want to have a career i always wanted
and yet
have fun in the process
and also
to go out of malaysia
and see the real world
i think it'll be a waste to spend my univ life in malaysia
it;'s not that malaysia univ is worse that those in spore
but
if i can get the chance to study else where other than malaysia
that would be great
the thing is
am i willing to give up medicine
and opt for fun univ life
easier life style
and travel????
i have always believe
travelling to a place mean u have been there seen it
and that;s it
it's totally different if u LIVE there for a year or two
sigh
maybe i worry too much
maybe i wont get anything in the end
i used to think that
if my results are good
i wil get anything i want
obviously not
jpa proved that u need a lot more than impeccable academic records
to secure a scholarship
and so
maybe i am worrying for nothing
i will end up in spore
and that's not even a certainty


went to school just now
to get a blazer
it took us more than an hour to get the address of MPM(majlis peperiksaan malaysia)
the institute that's in charge of stpm :)
anyways
goin down to kl tomorrow
hope everthing goes well
coz this trip is giving me a headache
and when i am back
i will have lots to do




according to my plan BEFORE monday
i am suppose to worry about my results now
but now
i have to change it ISH
guess i'll celebrate a day later
not that i am complaining
that the call saved me from worrying non sto[
but it also made me think harder now
and someone told me
if go kl
means sure 5 FLAT
going to meet up with classmates ex classmates now
hope i can keep the secret from them
arghh
it'll be tough
now
have to start packing and look for my school uniform
and that includes
tie and school shoes
and i thought i will never have to wear school uniform anymore
a few months ago
and i never know i'll have to collect my results in school uniform
ish
not nice
i guess that's why people say
life is unpredictable
there'll be twists and turns
when u least expect them
but still
i wanna go to school on thurs!!
last year's ceremony was held a day before result day of stpm
making the award recipients able to rush to school....
SOB SOB

have serious thing to worry
i have 2 blazers now
one black the other teal
dont know which fits my uniform better.......
dilemma!
they insisted i must wear a blazer
dont know why
maybe formal wear kua
but isnt tie already formal enough?
i tend to suffocate when i put my tie on..
hopefully i can smile naturally..:)