i think i'm losing interest

to blog i mean
yeah
surprisingly
and i actually thought i will not stop blogging after stpm
erm to blog non stop would be a better phrase
coz so many things are still in my mind
just waiting to be written down
or maybe it's because my mind refused to work anymore
after the strenous stpm,
toughest and undeniably the hardest i have worked for any exam so far
( that's exaclt what i said for spm before stpm)
it's kinda strange u know
when i was so busy preparing for stpm
my mind was not flooded wih formulae
instead it's overflowing with ideas
what i'm gonna blog about
what i have observed
maybe it's because i have talked a lot after stpm
had a couple of long serious conversation with others
and with long i mean hours lo( and i usually need a bottle of water next to me:P)
sharing thoughts on matters that intrigued me
verbally or thru internet
truly, internet is a very useful tool
for me to speak non stop with my friends not around
or inconvenient for us to meet or call
without worrying about the bills
see, my house has three lines
and this month
one line alone has reached RM400
not to mention the other two
plus there's 3 hp in my house
so now u see why i say bills is a crucial part
plus
i actually prefer face to face interaction
rather than thru the net
coz u can see peopls's face change with things u say ma
and u can see for real whether the lol is genuine or not
right?
telephone conversation is also okay
at least u get to hear the tone or the pauses to think
it's just the bills
so overally
the best option is to come over my house and chat non stop lo
hehe
i dont usually pick up the phone and call people just to chat
so if i hapen to do so
please thank god
haha
i only dialled a few numbers for that
and even that is not often
i had a major issue with bills when i was in foprm 3 and std 6
i can hog the phone for 10 hours non stop
yeah
i know it's quite scary
dont know what i was thinking
must be siao
but luckily those calls were not made from my house

and i think i have problem expressing myself in words
whether it's in english or mandarin
undoubtedly
my mandarin is better
but i think i prefer to type in english
time saving see
that's the main reason
though there tend to be lots of spelling errors and grammaical mistakes
sigh
dont care
it's my blog
my space to conteng
so as long as i can understand what i'm trying to say
it's enough liao right
;p


back to the face to face conversation
i like to talk to people
yeah
i do
especially having long talks about how u see things
it's interesting to hear people tell u their tale
and u will realise how different and how similar two people can be
u can make comparison between two very different individual
and it sometimes may surprises u
how strikingly different two person u think are the same
and vice versa
hehe
think i've blogged about that
had a few very decent conversation
expressed lots of views
but this is the problem i have
i do say what i think
but some friends do share what you call secrets with me
while i see those secrets as their worries and experience they have
some people are willing to share their experience by telling you the whole story
right from the beginning
if u know how to ask the details that is
i'm no expert in the field
but i think i have never been thru one life changing experience
so my only source is thru other people's life
like my friends said
my world is simple
same people everyday
and i dont think i have ever esperience the dark side of the world
what i do is just sit there and listen to what my friends had been thru
i am glad that my world isnt as complicted as them
though at times it seems so
and i'm grateful as they tell me about their stories
and this is where i learn my lessons
the real life lessons
it's still not considered as my experience until i face the same thing right
so till then
i still wish i dont get to encounter what some if my friends had to go thru
at least i have a glimpse at how the world looks like for others
and like i always said
no matter how happy the person may seem to you
he /she always has his/her own problem
it's up to you to decide whether
to see it as an obstacle or a way of life
some people who lead an easier life comparitively may see having less money as the end of the world
while others who grow up in a single parent family may regard having a roof over their head as no big deal
it's up to you really
i would like to say
i'm no expert
and there's lots and lots of new things out there that i have never heard of
and lots waiting to be learnt
i'm no wise person
in fact i'm the opposite
and dont bother to say otherwise
i'm not writing this to fish for compliments
it's just that
i want to share with you, my friends
that sometimes
you see things thru other people's eyes
like a window
there were lots of quotes that i have came across
but somehow too lazy to remember and copy now
or else
i would have lots to share


sigh
wish it's as easy to do as it is to type it down
i have to remind myself that all the time
and at times like this
blogging i mean
that i really sit down
and think over stuff
kind of like my own thoughts
think i'm very contradicting le
but arent we all???

told my friends before
people can just tell me their prob without a worry
but why cant i just open up?
yeah
i do have my own stuff to worry about
but somehow i think my greatest worry
isnt as big as what my friends have to tell me
it's just me
i just tend to bottle up my probs
but i do talk a lot
and say what i think
just not my problems nia
mien said
there have to be a time when i tell someone right
well
it's not the time yet
it's not that i dont trust u guys with it
it's just me that i have to get thru
hehe
oo
and i always tell a friend of mine
hehe
u know who u are
knowing more means more burden
so sometimes if people dont want to tell u more
it's because they dont want you to bear the burden lo
but
i am willing to do so
coz after u've said them all out
trust me
u'll feel much much better
maybe there's nothing that your friend can do to help you
but just by listening
you will really feel more light hearted
at least it eases ut burden for a while
and plus
can see things thru a window of other people's house ma
ur eyes is the window in ur house
and others are windows in their house
u may see some things similar
but somethings u cant see from ur window
others may see it clear from their eyes lo
and if there's so many benefits in it
why cant i do it
i dont know
dont ask me
sometimes i convince others to do something that's good for them
but somehow i just have problem doing it myself
in the end
i'm the one staying in the same spot
while others had moved on
hehe
losing interest in blogging?
maybe not after all
once i started wrting think i cant stop lo
so typical me
like talking
hehhehehehe
maybe just have to overcome the inertia
maybe talking has less coefficient of static friction compared to blogging eh?
to those who understand what that means
congratulations
u have not returned all you learnt to the teacher after all.
still have something in ur pockets!

i just realised
i tend to skip punctuation marks la
i dont get to see lots of full stops
exclamation marks are abundant though
hehe
see what i mean
it's my style
time saving again
;p

and i hope it's as enjoying
for u to read this as it is for me to write it down:)

o
before i end
nkl just said something that i had been thinking for days to put down
"dont choose a course simply because you're good at it'
that is exactly what i'm trying to tell all my friends who advised me to
do research instead of med
and also
the perception of the best students doind med
is so so wrong
i may get all A s in exam
but that doesnt mean i'm good in handling patient
a doc requires more than a good brain
so does every profession
u think the good students who do wonders in exam are god??
helllo
then tell me this
why cant god clean a floor properly like the cleaning lady??
why?
tell me??
people are judging those who want to be a doc too hrashly
shouldnt they do the same to others?
why discourage those who have the passion to pursue their dream?
you may criticise but give advise too la
dont just say cannot
then dont give any reason ma
enough of the complaining
time to eat.