bored out of my wits

yes i am
i dont want to go back to the days after SPM
where i woke up at 3 pm
had luch at 330pm
and then slept at 3am!
arghhhhhh
so the solution?
get a job right?
hehe
not so easy
coz now all the good jobs are taken le
good as in good pay and some more interesting
sure i can grab a job at the malls
but i REFUSE to do so
there's nothing to learn there ma
except maybe
customers are always right
:p
i want a job that is both very rewarding financially and mentally
hehe
if the hospital would pay me 1000 i would go lo
and if they have a vacancy that is
btw
someone managed to know something before i evem tell her
not bad
hehe
actually
i have a new blog la
nothing new
:P
none of my friends know about it except one nia
so u better be honoured
nothing new here
and i am still lazy to upload all those graduation dinner pictures
got a few up at my friendster account
i hate uploading pictures here
though it's better if i post here
coz there's a correlation between what i write and what i see ma
plus it'll be cool if u have pictures in your diary ma
but bloggers somehow managed to have pms every single day i want to post my pics
deep down
there's this dilemma
and i'm so so lazy to write it out
yup
a lot has been going on in my house
but i'm still bored
read a few books that i ta pao-ed from my aunt's house and some from the star's office
well
all my time are either spent on net surfing or reading books or watch tv
that's it
so simple can yet i'm not contented
i want to go kl again!!
i miss ice skating!!
and now i cant find kakis to play basketball
sigh....
all those piano pieces still waiting for me to play
and i'm still so lazy
oh
i am now trying to be a better person by not saying sh**
instead
i'll use CRAP to substitute the other word
hehehehehe
that's only a tiny bit of my thought

i might as well write it down here
mom said if i cant get into UM's med
then she can find a way to get me to do med
in INDIA
my reaction was
NO WAY
dont waste your time
i would rather not do med than go there
but mom said
russia's too far
and too cold
you'll shiver to death
and that's where the yelling start
blablabla
so to say that there's no drama would be wrong

i have told them since the very beginning
i can do other things other than med
it's not the end of the world if i cant do med
but if u want me to go to india just so i can do med
then well
i might as well go s'pore and do physics
i know i am a spoilt brat
bla bla
but it's my choice right?
i may regret and wonder what will happen if i take med
but i really prefer a easy life and not go to india
living abroad's already tough
and they still want me to go to a place where i cant speak the language??
heck
they dont ask u to go for a tamil course if u want to study there right
maybe i'm discriminating
but if choosing med means i have to suffer for a few years in my life
then i would let go of my passion
haha
contradiction isnt it?
if i can let it go so easily,
maybe it cant be considered as my passion right?
but me being the person who gives up easily
not persistent
this is really very few times where i insisted on something lo

i am keen to do med
and if the opportunity is given to me
i will choose med over anything else
that was what i thought
but then when my mom bring up the india thing
i was like
if doing med means i have to go through all those,
then sorry
no way
no offense la to those people living in india
maybe india isnt that bad la
but i just dont want to go there
it gives me the creeps la
yes now u know a slight bit who i really am
very choosy
want this and want that
very greedy
i always believe that
things happen for a reason
they dont just happen
there msut be a reason for it la
at least that's how i look at the brighter side of things;)
assuming that i cant get a place in med
then maybe physics holds a brighter future for me right?
or am i just trying to deceive myself and everyone?
of course i will be disappointed coz being a doc is kinda my dream
no matter how heavy the responsibilty is
i hope time will make me more prepared for it
but still
i love physics as well
it's just that between the two
i would choose to be a doc
i thinki have to be thanksful coz at least i can choose my 2nd love
some people dont even have the choice
right???
so no big deal one
let time decide
and we shall see what happen
so in the mean time
i'm sitting here waiting
BUT
that's what lazy people say
MOST people said
there's no such thing as free lunch
u have to look hard
and once u're sure of what u want
go ahead and do
but in my case
i'm thinking
if i cant get a med place in local univ then that's it
no more day dreaming about doc liao
coz i dont want to burden the family ma
some said
ur family can afford ma
yes they can
they can afford to send me to imu
but if theyr eally do thatr
i would feel bad
how about my other sibllings?
if getting the best results meaning spending the most money
than i should have let my grades slip
i didnt work hard so that my grades are good
i never work for an exam thinking i want to be the first
it just happened
dont ask me why
i also dont know
except for public exams where i really study last minute so that i can get a good results
but i was let down
no matter how good ur results are
or how active u are in co-cu
no matter how deserving u are for the scholarship
btw,i'm not talking about myself
if the luck isnt on ur side
then sorry
too bad but the place goes to another person
some said it's unfair
but i judge it differently
life is never fair
some may say this is fair
others might not agree
so why argue over whether it's fair or not
me
i let it go
whatever happened,it happened for a cause ma!
this is the typical answer a lazy bum like me will give u
maybe those who are our total opposite maybe successful in their life later on
but we the lazy bum are contented ma
it's just a matter of choice really

everytime i think i have no mood to wirte
somehow all the things just flow out