So many things to do

Yet so little time...
Have to go to the office to certify my documents, run to the clinic to get a copy of my OPG..
Last but not least.. I'll be checking out from the hostel tomorrow..
and catch a bus back to penang before noon..
This is the time when I bid an official goodbye to my life as a student..

It's going to be a looooong day..

This is not the end

It is perhaps only the end of the beginning.
I passed!!:)
It's been a long day.
Good night world.

Palpitations

Counting down..

Two more hours till they announce our results..

Trying to find things to do to calm my nerves.

Had no problem sleeping last night coz was out whole day...

Folded all my clothes but the books are all stacked up and not packed into boxes because I don't know what to expect later..

It's ALL OR NOTHING.

You either pass or ****, there's no in between..

How to kill two more hours?

I can't watch movies coz I can't focus on what's going on..

Mom's on her way to help me pack.

She said no matter what the outcome is, I still need to pack..
Fingers crossed.. I want to pass!!

What I need now

is sleep.Only managed to get 3 hours of sleep for the past 2 night.
Been out whole day yesterday and today. We went to Taman Pertanian Malaysia in Shah Alam, which was 2 hours away from Cheras. The traffic was very bad in Subang. Anyways, by the time we reached, it was already 1045am. We left later than initially planned because it was drizzling in Cheras.
Cycled for an hour in the park. Wasn't a pleasant cycling experience as compared to Taiwan because we had to cycle up the steep slope and there wasn't much to see.
Also, the bicycles we rented were not in good condition.
Despite the lack of sleep and my brain screaming need for rest, I'm grateful to be able to spend time with friends instead of still studying for the exams. I think having to take the exam earlier was a blessing in disguise. Plus, 22nd is my lucky number:)

OCD

DSM IV criteria to diagnose OCD includes having either
Obsession: A recurrent and intrusive thought, feeling or idea.  OR
Compulsion: A conscious repetitive behaviour linked to an obsession that, when performed, functions to relieves anxiety caused by the obsession.

While cleaning my room after 24 hours of being awake and only had 4 hours of sleep the night before seemed like some kind of obsession and compulsive behaviour, you can only diagnose one with OCD if ONLY it cause significant impairment in their daily functioning.
Since there WONT be any significant impairment to my life unless shopping counts, so I am NOT considered OCD, YET.

I think there maybe some kind of jinx on me for this exam. I got ALL cases that I did not revise few days before.. -_______-''''Hopefully I did enough to pass the exam.

Results will only be out on Wednesday. It's gonna be a LONG LONG wait :(

The real battle

is on Tuesday. The clinical examination (OSCE).
Am not saying that theory paper and OSPEs are not real exam, and there is a chance that I might **** for not being able to get 50%, but at least it's a controlled situation, just me and the question, with slightly more time to think about the whole clinical scenario.
In contrary, OSCEs is more terrifying because there's the patient factor, the examiner factor or most important of all, the only variable that we can control is our own factor (not to get panicky).

approximately 6 years ago, I was panicking for STPM, afraid about not being able to finish the syllabus instead of worrying about passing/failing/excelling.
My only responsibility was to finish the syllabus that I THINK is important. ( I used notes OR maximum one text book for each subjects, and REFUSED to do any exercise/past year questions.)

I just realized how much things have changed.
In high school, if you study, you CAN answer the questions. The teachers (thankfully my school had really good teachers) will guide you and teach you every single thing you need to know (whether they were able to make you understand is a different matter, at least they tried). If you get the concept right, you have no problem answering the questions without doing any exercises.

Now, there's no proper notes, WE teach each other (so called peer learning), unsure what's important and what's not, or even able to get the facts right. There's so many things to study, with new advances in medicine everyday, with high expectations from some of our lecturers DESPITE us having limited guidance. (probably due to the fact that there's 240 of us and there's severe lacking in teaching staff)
and It's ALWAYS about passing/failing. and the answers are NOT in the books, and sometimes there's MORE than one correct answer (that's why we never call them MCQs-multiple choice questions, it's called OBA in my university-one BEST answer..).

Now, my only hope is not to be the 10% of students that my faculty fail every year in the professional exam.
Wish me luck.

Touched

Been following the news closely these few days.
This is better than any book I have read
Amazed by how selfless the people are.
I have always believe that there is kindness in every human being, it's only a matter of discovering them in people that you meet.
But to demonstrate such courage and altruism of adversity even when they themselves are victim is extraordinary.
An act of kindness at times like may be more infectious than any diseases know to human being:)
And perhaps provide better comfort than any medicine in this world can do to the heart.

Surreal

The photos looked as if they were taken from some movie scenes with special effects.

Too bad they were real.
With the nuclear melt-down adding on to the tsunami hit, I can't imagine how tough times are there.

All this made the on-going exam seemed like a small matter.

My prayers to my friends and their families in Japan, as well as the nation.

So many natural disasters occurred in a short span of time. Has it always been like this only because I was young and ignorant? Or we are witnessing the accelerated degeneration of the earth??