Wednesday, March 29, 2006

人怕出名,豬怕莊??

the proverb is very apt indeed
how does it feels like to be famous for a reason that u think is worthy by most people?
well, up until a few hours ago, i think it was ok
if i tell u that i am not pleased about the extra attention that people shower me
then i am lying
and it is not in my nature that i lie
and that's exactly the reason why i got attacked by so many people
people that i dont even know
and how does it feels like to be misunderstood by others?
everything but pleasant
i was asked to give a talk to my juniors about STPM
i was hestitant to go
coz all my friends are not going
but if i didnt go
it would be disrespect to my teachers
and so
i did go for the talk
now i regretted my decision
if i havent went in the fist place
none of this would've happened!

today, my sister asked me a question
"hey, u must answer me a question VEry honestly"
she stressed the words VERY HONEST
"ok"
"are u a very arrogant person??"
though i did not show my surprise to her and gave her a firm NO as an answer
i was reminded of a conversation i had with a friend just a few days ago
"hey. the juniors think u are cocky la"
"??"
"the talk u gave them??"
"oh, THAT"
i dismissed that as a normal reaction strangers give me la
coz i am usually BOLD
i never thought this would get back to my eleven year old sis
u see, there's a teacher in school that has a daughter whose my sister's best friend
this teacher told her daughter and
her daughter asked my sister
another girl in my sister's class said
she has a brother that asked me a question before
and said
i asked him to call me BIG sis before i teach him the question
whoever u are, i Told everyone the same
i was trying to be funny
hello..
FUNNY???JOKE?FOOLING AROUND?
i told that to EVRYONE that asked me questions
du-oh
if u think i am so full of myself judging from a one line conversation
then clearly
form 6 isnt really as good as i thought it were
and if u go around everywhere mentioning THAT to everyone u know
fine, it's ur mouth and u have every right to say everything that u like
or think is true
i am just disappointed why someone that i spoke for less than 5 mins
would think that by telling her 11 year old sister about that will make somehow
get back to me
well, congratulations coz u just did a great job
and to the teacher, why are u telling this to ur daughter??
i dont get that part
children are impressive and whatever they hear
will enter their mind
just like that
that shows a lot of ur personality
DO u think it's my choice that i get to be selected as one the top scorers?
and if i am just some one that did badly in his/her exam u'll say the same thing?

i have always tell people the truth
sometimes when i think they might get upset about the truth
i just keep my mouth shut
but most of the time
i blurted out everything before i can stop myself
and up till now
i have never really thank my friends for putting up with my ego
since a roomful of people think that i am big-headed because of my results
i have always been like that
maybe i should change??
tell people things that they like to hear???


i am just being me
sorry if that offended u
or if u cannot take my weird sense of humour
so be it
yeah well
if u ask me to choose
whether i want to just be a normal student
or get that award
thinking that by avoiding all this fame thing
i'll remain anonymous
and a few hundred bucks richer(everyone is making me treat them)
and not be the subject of animosity
advertistment is a big nono
luckily i didnt sign that agreement
phew
but
the award definiterly give some recognition to me
i never say i deserve it
coz
i really think so
not becoz i want u to think that i am smart enough to do something that u cant do
trying to be modest
mana tahu get opposite effect
shouldnt have went back to school
so many probs arise
all becoz i wanted to help my juniors
u think i am very free izzit?
not feeling grateful is ok
but please do check first
i really dont do exercises
and study a week before exam
so what if i can finish my syllabus in time
like i said
different ppl have diff ways of preparing for exams
u asked me how i did
and that's what u got
if i knew by telling u the truth i'll get criticising
should have told u what u want to hear
not answer the damn question
and i was born on the same year as most of them
i am not popular among my peers:(
they say there's no such thing as bad publicity
why do i feel like this is the worst one??
maybe i'm just beoing oversensitive
or over reacting ir maybe i just wanna get MOre famous
du-oh
i am no saint
so i cant please everyone, can i????

Thursday, March 23, 2006

ehem

the great just quitted her job
well, most people think i wont last long working anyways
and i really think i hate working
but the boss gave me extra 50 bucks last sunday as a reward
u see, i get paid RM30 a day for 6.5 hours work
so RM 50 is a lot
but now that i have decided what i wanna be
well, at least more certain of my future path
i think i should do something related to med or Engineering
it was tough saying that i have to quit to the boss
but still
had to do it
and now
i am officially JOBLESS
yes
i think i spent about 8weekends there
and suppose to earn about 8X60-120=360
however, there's only about 100 left:(
my mentality is
i can spend since i have work
the thing is
i only earn 60 a week
and i only work for 2 days
meaning
i have lots of time to spend my money
and usually
i spent about 100 a week
all on food movies and a bit of shopping
i am a big spender:(

Saturday, March 18, 2006

the plan that backfired

my plan was to keep the award thing to myself
and only to surprise my friends on the day itself
mana tahu
on wednesday
The day before the results day
when i was about to leave for kl
ming ching sms-ed me
"hey, congrats! in kl now?"
i thanked her
thinking it's normal for her to know
coz her bf is from clhs ma
mana tahu
later around evening
chuan zie sms-ed me
"hey, are u in kl now??"
i called her up immediately
told her not to tell anyone
too bad she already told hsiao hoay
chuan zie got the news from pn ing, my PA teacher in school
at about 11 pm
hui ying called
and i kept acting lo
and after 15 minutes, i gave in
told her
and she said
'everyone's going to kill u'
then, calls and sms started to come in like hell
talk and talk and talk
fell asleep at about 3 am



on friday , i went out with friends
they told me
they were busy worrying about their results when they got the news
on wednesday night
and their heart lifted when they receive the news
:)
i am glad i made the decision not to tell them in the first place
on monday
coz if i did
the effect would have been different
so le
please dont kill me la
and i am almost broke d la
no money
that 1 k is for me to reward myself
none of u guys offered to reward me
somemore said i did great??

some non stpm people saw my face in the tv and newspaper and called up
mostly were
"hey, u looked great!"
HAHA
now that's something i dont get everyday:P
and i am really shocked so many can recognise my face lo
a few also said
luckily i never wear my white specs
haha
:)
yes i am happy
but really
the excitement dies real quick

my friends now intro-ed me as the GAO person
hehe
but really, this time i think i got luckly
red fm called me up
no idea how they got my no
but
they recorded a simple interview
the great part about all this is
i can get angpaus from relatives:)
imagine having to serve people for 6.5 hours and all u get is 30
but if people know u got 5As and saw ur face on tv
u get at least 50
all the fake smiles and pose paid well:)
just in case u are wondering why i pose like a pro,
the 9 of us were just doing what the reporters told us to
and ar
flashing ur teeth for 20 minutes non stop is very tiring
and also
the famous palm pose
the one where u see on practically every newspaper cover on firiday
took us more than 20 mins
coz they reporters took turns to snap
luckily my parents paid 3k for my braces and the money didnt go wasted
haha

some friends also wondered if i had lunch with the PM and what 's my ranking in the top9
so
i'll answer them once and for all
it was a very small press conference, only 2 VIP,
no PM, not even minister of education
and
i got the award becoz
i took 5 subjects and of all the 13 papers, i scored A for all
and they said our marks are suppose to be highest in the country
i am happy enough to get 5 flats
so, this is a really big surprise
and they never rank us
disappointed?
well
if they really do, i think i'll be the last anyway.

so now
the question for all of us who know me well
can i be a doctor??
please check, being a doctor and able to study med is totally different
i consider med not becoz my results allow me to, but i think i really like it
the thing is
is passion enough to make me survive?????

P/S: the previous post is like one of the shortest i have posted and yet so many comments from u guys.. maybe i should try short entries next time;p

Thursday, March 16, 2006

ish

the reason i never told u all about the award thing was
if i told someone
news 'll spread
and that time when i got the news
it was only monday
still not the time to worry about results
and if i told u all right
u will start to worry ma
i would lo if the same thing happens to me

more later

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

pHEW

just came back from tesco
met up with wei yean, honey tpt and yuin
almost blurt the whole thing out
but
mom saved me by calling me last minute!
talked a lot
chatted about result day
and told them
I WILL WEAR UNIFORM ON THURs
let's wear thme together
also told them
i'll let u see my specs on thurs!
i told them i am goin to meet up with them at thurs
sigh

they said math paper 2 was tough
but i was thinking about my chem paper all this while
and now
i am worried about my math paper too
anyways,
MRS SIM called just before 7pm
when i was about to leave for tesco
YEs
SHE CALLED
the hp screen flashed her name
the chem tuition teacher..
click
well
apparently, some clhs ppl found out
and she knows me
has my number anbd congratulated me
dont know who's the person who leak out the news
but she confirmed it;s me
so someone other than thw two person i told knew about it
and i was thinking of surprising her
darn!
anyways,
she told me that math paper was tough too
havent pack yet
lazy to do so
another decision to make
tennis shoe or school shoe?

but i like green better wor....

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere.
You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant.
From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

happy PI day everyone

saw this in newiep 's blog
since i have nothing to post
well i do actually
but they are all saved as draft;)
wil post later
anyways
here goes the present for all u people!
http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.com/index1.html

cool, no?
i like that guy's expression
i have serious stuff to worry about

black or teal??

Monday, March 13, 2006

think think think

tues 14 march
2 days to go
until my friends get their result

a few days ago
i told my friends
i will only worry about my results on monday or tuesday
now still early
can have fun
and obviously
the call made a huge change to my plan
when i thought that i can relax
i cant
there's more to think about
like
my kl trip
and how much i will miss out coz i wont be in school on thurs
ISH
by the time u see this
it'll be a few days later d la

and the biggest thing i have to worry about
is
MY FUTURE
wa
the word future alone is scary enough
but i cant really predict what wil happen later
so now that i am given the choice
i have to make the decision
so that i wont blame anyone later on
but maybe i'm thinking too much la
coz i obvously havent get the offer yet ler
initially( before i get the phone call)
my plan was
apply med in local univ(IF i can get good results la)
but i didnt have high hopes
coz i screwed up VERY badly in chemistry
(i know , i know.. i've said that many many times)
and have a back up plan
to apply for engineering in spore
and i if can get a place in UM or UKM med
i will take the offer no matter what
and if i cant
i will take scholarship and go to spore
and now
i am starting to doubt my initial decision
.........................
greed is human's nature
and i have a lot of that in me
i have the results i have always wanted
and now
i want to have a career i always wanted
and yet
have fun in the process
and also
to go out of malaysia
and see the real world
i think it'll be a waste to spend my univ life in malaysia
it;'s not that malaysia univ is worse that those in spore
but
if i can get the chance to study else where other than malaysia
that would be great
the thing is
am i willing to give up medicine
and opt for fun univ life
easier life style
and travel????
i have always believe
travelling to a place mean u have been there seen it
and that;s it
it's totally different if u LIVE there for a year or two
sigh
maybe i worry too much
maybe i wont get anything in the end
i used to think that
if my results are good
i wil get anything i want
obviously not
jpa proved that u need a lot more than impeccable academic records
to secure a scholarship
and so
maybe i am worrying for nothing
i will end up in spore
and that's not even a certainty


went to school just now
to get a blazer
it took us more than an hour to get the address of MPM(majlis peperiksaan malaysia)
the institute that's in charge of stpm :)
anyways
goin down to kl tomorrow
hope everthing goes well
coz this trip is giving me a headache
and when i am back
i will have lots to do




according to my plan BEFORE monday
i am suppose to worry about my results now
but now
i have to change it ISH
guess i'll celebrate a day later
not that i am complaining
that the call saved me from worrying non sto[
but it also made me think harder now
and someone told me
if go kl
means sure 5 FLAT
going to meet up with classmates ex classmates now
hope i can keep the secret from them
arghh
it'll be tough
now
have to start packing and look for my school uniform
and that includes
tie and school shoes
and i thought i will never have to wear school uniform anymore
a few months ago
and i never know i'll have to collect my results in school uniform
ish
not nice
i guess that's why people say
life is unpredictable
there'll be twists and turns
when u least expect them
but still
i wanna go to school on thurs!!
last year's ceremony was held a day before result day of stpm
making the award recipients able to rush to school....
SOB SOB

have serious thing to worry
i have 2 blazers now
one black the other teal
dont know which fits my uniform better.......
dilemma!
they insisted i must wear a blazer
dont know why
maybe formal wear kua
but isnt tie already formal enough?
i tend to suffocate when i put my tie on..
hopefully i can smile naturally..:)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

OKLA, I ADMIT

this is not suppose to be out yet
guess who just called
??
it's mr lau from pcghs

here goes:
"hey, congrats!"
"HUH?? WHAT?"
heart skipped a beat
"today spm results out ma..
i heard ur results is good.."
'sir, i am stpm graduate la"
ceh..
wanna fool me
ish
"nola... really ma..
congrats ya.."
"what??"
" ur results is good"
" how do u know it's good??
do u know WHAT i want????"
"it's good la"
" then what is my result ar?"
" i dont know for sure , but must be good, if not why they ask u to go to kl..??"

heart beating faster and faster
is this really happening
when i am just starting to worry about my results??

'you have to go to kl this thurs to majlis peperiksaan..
ohohhh
.......

"MOM!!!!!"

I CANNOT BELIEVe this is happening
picked up the phone again
'are u sure it's me?
i mean how can u be sure?
maybe someone with my name??'
' i just know la'
'u sure?'
'yes'
'then why go down to kl?'
" award thing.."

and there you go
that's the whole story
i am too excited to write properly

i am still shaking
canot believe
it's only monday but by the time i post this
it's thurs or friday
thursday is the result day
i will keep this quiet
and let all my friends think i am going to school
so that they will have the shock of their life
but i will miss them
moment of triumph
without friend is lonely
so everyone
PLEASE wait for me to celebrate ya!!!
i will be back
and thanks guys
for having such confidence in me
i dont know whether i'll get five flat
but
at least i get the award ler
i am happyyyyyyyyyyyy
NKL,
your predictions came true
thank you everyone
MUAKSSSSSSSS
i swear i will belanja when i am back
i will use ALL my working money to treat u all
and i wil have a pre birthday bash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i aM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY
still shaking
adrenaline rushhhhh
OMG



everyone who's reading this
please call amoi to congratulate her
she's feeling lonely coz no one's there to share her moment of glory
OMG
this is freaking unbelivable!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and oh
i am broke
please dont ask for expensice meals
i have lots of people to belanja
and i am damn happyyyyyyyy
enough
back to work
ntu 's essay... SIEN



p/s: sorry u get to know this erm 3 days later

new school rule

of penang chinese girls' high school
wahaha
guys,
can still remember all ur reactions when u guys saw my white specs in physics lab???
wAHAHA
now pcghs forbid all the students to wear white specs
WAHAHA
well
to be precise
only dark blue, black, dark brown and brown colour frames are allowed


AND
i actually wore the GREEN AND WHITE ONES
for 3 years in pcghs
wahaha
but the sad thing is
when i made the white specs
there's like no one who's wearing that colour
but now
everywhere u go
u can see white specs white specs and whiote specs
ISH
but i am still very proud
till now
i seldom see green specs
:P
wahaha
OMG
i know all of u will be stunned
coz when i wore the white spec
u guys said someday
they will make a new school rule about it
haha
and now
the prediction came true
but i'm OUT!!
tooo bad
i can wear the specs as many times as i like
and oh
i wore the white spec to MY GRADUATION CEREMONY
with the whole school watching on the big screen
and lee lay see, and chan phaik see who said i look real funky in that spec
will feel better now i think
wahhahaa
this news is enough to make me laugh till
erm
thursday:)

Saturday, March 11, 2006

UNBELIVABLE??

i have been a waitress for more than a month now
though i only work during weekends
it is enough to kill me
but now i think all the sufferings is nothing
coz i get to see someone so beautiful
that may make
straight guys turn GAY
lesbian girls turn STRAIGHT
his eyes is so intense and when he look at you
i dont think anyone can say no to whatever he said
he's much more beautiful that many many idols that young girls go crazy nowdays
the right word
is beautiful
and when he look into your eyes
u can feel as if u're electrified
yes
THAT beautiful
especially his eyes
and it wasnt just me
i make all my friends who was working
to check this guy out
and all of them agreed
sigh
too bad he's taken
his gf is a nice girl too
he wore a purple shirt
and has very fair complexion
there's very few guys that i think is good looking
and this guy
i think
can make not just girls
but guys melt as well
too bad i dont have a cam with me just now
if not
i would've taken his pic
those intense black eyes......
i never thought there's actually someone like him
and with a single look can KILL
i think i wont recognise him when i see him
when people say that u may fall in love by just first sight
i think it's stupid
cannot believe i am saying this
but after seeing him
i dont think it is anymore
but then again
how many people are there that are as beautiful as he is??

unbelivable?
well
believe it
and oh
he wasnt wearing make up
so everything's natural

Friday, March 10, 2006

tagged

by wenying
The Random Seven(created by wenying due to sheer boredom)
7 things that scare me:
1) cockroaches( u should ask my fellow girl guides and scouts that went to camp with me)
2) rats
3) cats
4) dogs
5) insects
6) speak in front of unknown audience
7) making the wrong decision?


7 random facts about me:
1) I am 6 feet tall, thus making me the tallest girl in my class:p
2) I like spending money on stuff that i dont really need but i really like:)
3) I cant seem to pay full attention for more than 10 minuetes. That's why i always screw up customers' orders:(
4) i hate working, if can, i would rather study and take exams
5) i dont want to grow up
6) i wear specs that make me happy though they make me look ridiculous
7) i talk real loud


7 things I hope to do before I die:
1) travel to wherever i want to :)
2) get rich
3) visit newiep in US(awww.. touched??)
4) get a house with fantastic view(seaside) and cool interior:)
5) play piano as well as tst
6) grow taller:)
7) be a doctor:)


7 things I can do:
1) breathe, see, walk, feel, tasten hear:)
2) math physics bio and chem probs in form 6 syllabus HAHA
3) fry egg
4) bossing friends around
5) talk non stop
6) solve sudoku puzzles
7) split and bridge HEHE


7 things that you like:
1) A LOT OF money
2) music
3) books!!
4) mcd's ice cream,twist flavour
5) beaches
6) school examsLOL
7) seafood esp shirmp and crab plus lobster


7 things you just can’t live without:
1) family
2) air
3) music
4) internet and computer and TV
5) books
6) friends
7) brain


7 people that should fill in this:
1) pdub
2) lisa
3) khailip
4) kryptos
5) any girl
6) any guy
7) anyone that's taller than me
8) anyone of my species
ermm..
i dont really know anyone else that read my blog
so there u go
only 4 names
sob sob..
i have so few friends

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

long hair or short hair

mom's nagging me to cut my hair
it's not that i dont want to
initially i insisted i wont let my hair grow very long
coz
1) the weather is very hot in malaysia
2) i dont comb my hair
3) therefore it;ll look very messy
4) and thus leaving bad impression for my interviewer
5) i cannot wash my hair in less than 2 mins
6)my neck will get itchy
7) i think i look like a 50 year old aunty with long hair

but now
i am hestitating becoz
1) ALL my friends and i mean ALL are advising me against it
2) they wil think i have no patience at all
3) i think i feel wasted if i cut now
4) i can train myself to wash it in 2 mins max

the cons of having long hair far outweigh pros
so A) long hair
or B)short hair??
maybe C) just trim it??
got to go
will cut my hair in less than an hour's time
let's hope it'll turn out nice and decent

delayed post

i forgot to mention this
on 2nd of march 2006
tst 's bday
i won the 2nd pool game in my life
and my opponent wasnt a normal lao beh lang
it's sue lyn
the only person that can beat tst on that day
haha
lazy to blog
lots of essays waiting to be written
but still
after years months of abandoning essay writing
i think
even if i can write an essay
i dont think anyone on earth would want to grant me a scholarship
anyways
why do they make essay writing part of the application??
isnt interview torturing enough??
i need help!!!
i think jiah ling can write for me
if she wants
coz she obviously can afford her tuition fees without scholarship
she secured one i think
without writing any essays
ish
help me la
deadline is just around the corner
now i regret for not improving my english during secondary school
too late
please pray for me
or write an essay of 300-500 words for me
that would be better