ObGyn

The posting will start tomorrow.

Despite me being more ignorant than others, I received *some* information about the posting.

Being scolded is the norm. We will normally get used to it within a week.

Beware of being compared to the third years. If they know the answers, so should you, or you should have a better answer.

Sleep is a luxury, not necessity.

You will be doing most of the house officers' work (same hours) but you will not be paid. And oh, we have to study on top of that.

Very discouraging talk by friends but will try to look forward to it. At least I hope I can pass the posting so I don't have to go through it again.

I can't explain why I dislike the posting so much. For me it's mainly the Obs part.

It had been an eye-opener for me when I went through the posting in third year  (well, most posting are except anaesthesiology and community medicine). I never appreciate my mother for giving birth to 4 kids (9 months is a very long time, what more 36) and then RAISING them up (-_____-'''). Anything can go wrong during pregnancy and you have to start all over again. I've seen so much despair in those who had miscarriage or had to terminate the pregnancy after finally being able to conceive. So every time I see a bulge in a woman in reproductive age group, I actually try todifferentiate a gravid uterus/pure fat. If I suspect the former, I steer at least 5 feet distance from them, so that I don't bump into them accidentally.

The movies often depict the nicest/worst moments of our lives, but they exaggerate them (some just a little, and some too much until it seemed fake to those who seen those moments many times in real life) or cut some not so nice/deemed not so important/not so interesting aspects.

The part where mothers glow with happiness do happen I think (not so much during labour, but yes post-partum AFTER they get some rest and meal-labour=hours of screaming/moaning/in pain and fasting for some), but maybe more often and for a longer duration in fiction. 

To film a pregnancy is too long so they only forced us to watch the labour process (also cut short, they did not film the first stage, only second stage) when I was in secondary school.
I didn't watch the film (maybe I already know I had to see the real thing then). I turned my back from the screen and stuffed my ears with tissues. Labour=horror movie to me. Maybe that's why I dislike the posting so much.

But then again, not all labours are so painful and the posting is as interesting as others if only we cut out the labour part. To do what we can to ensure pregnancies progress smoothly and to deliver a baby into the world is kind of exciting (again excluding all the blood, cleaning instruments). Who knows the baby may turn out to be some one who have significant contribution to the world one day! 

Big C hits close to home

I've never break any bad news to patients. There were times when I came across patients with terminal cancer but that was before they knew about their illness.

I have always thought this is a difficult task to do.

But what if someone close to you or you are at the receiving end? It was so surreal to hear that someone close is having cancer.Makes me realize no matter how many births, deaths or illnesses that doctors see everyday at the hospital, we are all just human.

I just hope that when the time comes for me to face illness and death, I have the strength to face it.

Finally!

I'd like to think I deserve this one week holiday.

And that I've worked hard for it..(only completed assignments)

The one week is coming to an end and I hope I've had enough fun and rest to keep me going till March.

Enjoyed spending time with friends and catching up with some long lost friends, eating good food for free and not having to wake up at 630 in the morning.

Get to play hours of real piano at home, with pedals that work, unlike in the hospital where it's just electronic piano. 

Few things missing as compared to previous holidays: No fiction, no movies and no shopping (yes, unbelievable).

Still, get to go to yoga and pilates class. Whole body still aching from the workout. Listening to the instructor talking about stretching lattissimus dorsi, quadricep etc. It's like revisiting anatomy, just that my mind was more focused on the muscle aches.

Overall, was a great holiday despite not being able to do any travelling, apart from the 5-hour journey from KL to Penang.

Intention Tremor

I can't even write my name properly.

Note: WRITE, not type.

With the advent of technology and also since I entered clinical school, all I ever write was some notes taken during lecture (not much), history from patient and that would be all.

We have to do at least one case write up for every posting but we were ALWAYS allowed to type them, except in Paeds, Psy and Anaest.

My Psy supervisor was kind enough (or he just couldn't care less) to let us type our CWU.

Not so lucky with Paeds and Anaest though.

My writing used to be nice (heck lots of people complimented me on it) but now I am happy enough if my writings are legible.

I refuse to become one of the doctors with illegible writing that all students, nurses secretly cursed or whom specialists and consultants scolded. I mean we can't really blame them coz when you have to see so many patients a day, ensuring your writing is nice isnt one of your priority.

Back to the point:

I had to HANDWRITE my Paeds CWU in two days last year. That was because I decided the first copy wasn't good enough and I had a deadline to catch. I think my hands were shaking by the time I finished it.

 

I guess I didn't learnt my lesson well.

This time around, we had to do one CWU and another handwritten assignment.

For the past 20 hours, I have written 20 pages long of CWU, with 2 hours of lecture, 2 hours of sleep and 1 hour of teaching in between.

Apart from that, my hands were busy copying my CWU from laptop to paper.

I am having very bad intention tremor now. I am thinking how on earth people write so many write ups in the past, especially if it's a complicated case.

And I think I know why most doctors (note: not ALL) have illegible writing. That was because they had to write so much in a short duration.

I am just glad that I don't have to write my CWU in the near future.

Or I should try to be like everyone else, i.e to do CWU early, and pick a simpler case / be less OCD.